Ninjas Cheat
by HitmanPAC
Summary: The world of ninjas is one with a long history - but the world of wizards has one even longer. When they collide, reconciliation is impossible. This isn't a matter of ethics, morality, or even politics. It's a matter of evolution. May the best human win.
1. Chapter 1

Hello all. This is a rewrite of a story of mine - which held the same name - but it deserves its own fresh start, so that's what I'm doing.

You should know this now, as it's very important: I will pretty much exclusively be using OCs in this. The reasoning behind this is thus:

When I was writing the original, I set up the premise in the first chapter, and then introduced Naruto in the second. I was totally stumped after that. I kept going through different ideas in my head, different plot lines, different characters, different enemies, but I kept running into the same problem.

Naruto - the character, not the setting - is boring to write.

I like Naruto the manga (or anime, whatever - but not the dub. I'm just stubborn like that), but the character Naruto, and most of his friends, are boring. He lacks depth - he's the hero with the tragic upbringing and the heavy burden who wants to get stronger while maintaining his morality. Maybe you can find more depth in there, but I sure as hell can't. I kept wondering why all the fillers and movies always, _always_ have some other character that had a tragic past and/or heavy burden, and then I realized: there's nothing else for Naruto to connect to other people with (aside from being a ninja, but even then, Naruto doesn't really act like all the other ninjas. He acts like a samurai, or something - a tricky one, but one with an unbending code of honor).

I'm not trying to rant here. I'm not trying to say Naruto is badly written (although, to be honest, I have been finding myself less interested, but I think that's more because I'm 21 now, and it's written for fourteen year-olds). What I _am_ saying is that I can't find it in me to make Naruto interesting. So, instead, I have turned to OCs.

There. You can walk away now, and I won't be surprised in the slightest. There are alot of OCs out there, and almost all of them are terrible. Of course, I think mine are different, but you have no reason to trust me, so I'll understand if you don't want to potentially waste your time. However, I am also hoping that my eloquence (I was eloquent, right? Right!? I'm... I'm not? How can this be!?) in this author's note will convince you to at least give this story a try.

Anyway, I have one other thing to say: This story is now also an experiment for me. As you can tell, I am writing very long chapters. My previous chapter average was somthing between 8 and 12 pages. I'm planning to have this be, at the very least, 15 pages long in average, and more likely it will be around 20. I want to see if, A) I produce higher-quality work (or lower quality work doing this), and, B) if it is easier to maintain my momentum. So, don't expect short chapters.

Also, Since I first posted this chapter, I have recieved comments about how this story doesn't fit in with the facts of the naruto universe. All I have to say about that is: suspend your disbelief. Rather than look at something and say, 'that doens't fit in with my image of how the naruto world should be', look at it and say, 'the fact that things are like that means that the world must be like this.' I'm confident you will enjoy it more if you approach it from that angle.

That's the end of that massive Author's Note. Now, for the story. What isn't in the summary should be revealed to you as you read. Please Read & Review - I thrive on feedback.

This is version 1.1 of chapter 1. The changes from version 1.0 (the original) are as follows:

A) Characters are fleshed out more, especially in their decriptions. I did this beause I found myself without an image of the characters when I tried to write them next chapter, and that was unacceptable. If you are reading this for a second time, just go to when every character is introduced, and you should find the added descriptions there.

* * *

The theater's lights were bright and illuminating; people were still finding their seats, as the show hadn't started yet. The actors were ready, and the scheduled time had already passed; the only problem was that the audience wasn't quite willing to be an audience. Entirely composed of ninjas, this audience was, at the moment, far more interested in finding old friends and hearing the newest rumors – as well as mourning those who had passed away recently. Konoha was technically in the middle of a war; large gatherings like this were rare, practically non-existent.

The Hokage – seated in the best box seat there was, of course – was getting bored. She'd been forced to attend by her counselors (It's about you, Hokage-sama! If you aren't there, people will think you aren't endorsing it, and that the content is false; the whole point is to dispel rumors, not create them!), and since she already knew what the play was going to be about, she was _not _thrilled about being forced to wait. It was the middle of summer, and having to wear the stupid Hokage hat indoors only made it hotter. Sweating profusely, she turned to her attendant. "When is this thing going to start, Ino?"

Ino rolled her eyes. Her long blond ponytail swayed slightly with the motion, making a swishing sound as it undulated across her tight purple jumpsuit, which left little to the imagination. Large patches of fabric had been cut away to enhance the erotic appeal - or the cooling factor, depending on what mood Ino was in when you asked her about it. "When you finally snap and tell everyone to sit down and shut up, Hokage-sama."

"That's not funny."

"I don't think so, either, but that hasn't stopped you in the past." Ino, who managed to look like the most enticingly sexy woman ever born even while she was uncouthly sprawled out in her chair, was busily fanning herself. "Seriously though, how am I supposed to know these things? I'm not _psychic_, you know."

The Hokage groaned, brushing her sweaty hair away from her forehead. "Ha ha, Ino. You should be down there on the stage, not here annoying me. Why do I keep you around again?"

"Because you can't admit to yourself that you're madly in love with my sexy body."

"Ah, right. After all, having two children _doesn't _make me firmly heterosexual."

"You're just deep in the closet. _Really_ deep." Ino smirked slightly, before putting on an innocent face; while she was capable of truly acting like an angel when she wished to, this time it was clearly fake. "And what do you mean, 'two' children? You and your husband have only had one child, to my knowledge. Is there something you're hiding, Hokage-sama?" She smiled evilly.

"Please." The Hokage brushed her hair away once again, it having fallen back in front of her eyes; she was seriously considering tossing the hat away, despite protocol. "Every jonin in Konoha knows the truth of that; most of the chunnin, too. And what are you even pretending for? There's no one around to hear you, so you don't need to keep the vow of secrecy."

Ino's smile grew even wider. "Loose lips sink ships, Hokage-sama."

"The hypocrisy of that is sickening."

"Are you calling me a gossip? I'm hurt, Hokage-sama! Truly, for you to think so low of your own advisor! How shameful!" Ino relaxed slightly, and placed a hand on the Hokage's shoulder. "Besides, Sakura; you've never been one to pay attention to gossip – not as a kid, and even less now. _That's_ why you keep me around."

Sighing, Sakura leaned over the balcony, looking amongst the hundreds of ninjas. Her pink hair was long and draped down the front of her robe, which was baggy enough to hide her curvy frame. "Of course. Because rumors are so vitally important to being a Hokage."

Ino leaned over as well. "If you're looking for your daughter, she's over there," she said, pointing to a spot in the front row near the right side of the stage. "Your son is with her, of course."

"Of course," Sakura placed a hand on her forehead. "And so is the rest of the 'Uchiha Brigade'. Didn't I _expressly_ tell him to keep them separated?"

"You mean your husband?" Once again, Ino was smirking; it seemed to be a permanent fixture of her face. "I heard he got... distracted."

* * *

"So," Naruto said, grinning widely as he cracked his knuckles. His spiky golden hair was sagging slightly – no doubt from the heat – but he seemed as energetic as usual. He stood tall, using the height adulthood had gifted him with to full advantage; his long torso made the gap between his green vest and black pants quite wide. "You ready for our rematch?"

Sasuke crossed his arms arrogantly, but couldn't help but smile. His face was a little more weathered than Naruto's, a little more wrinkled from stress, but he was just as fit – if not nearly as tall. He was wearing a loose shirt and sweats – he'd obviously been about to go change. "You make it sound like you're my rival, or something. Fighting you isn't even a challenge these days."

"Oooh, you're gonna get it now, Playboy!"

"Don't call me that!" Sasuke's eyebrows were twitching. "I had no choice, and you know it! They did it while I was sleeping!"

Naruto laughed loudly. "Only you would sleep through that, Playboy!"

Sasuke growled, getting into a fighting stance. "You'll regret making fun of me."

"I can't think of anything that I've ever regretted!" Naruto stood proudly in his own fighting stance – not nearly as formal and stylized as Sasuke's, but with just as few openings.

"Then your memory must be going." This time it was Sasuke's turn to smirk playfully. "Looks like not even you can escape the harshness of time."

"We'll just see about that..." Naruto said, before grinning widely and delivering the final blow. "Grandpa."

Sasuke's eyes widened.

The battle was on.

* * *

"Oh, no," Sakura groaned. "Those idiots are in _so _much trouble!"

"That's right! You need to punish them thoroughly!" Ino bent forward, and whispered into Sakura's ear (despite no one being around to hear what she said). "I have some really good handcuffs you can borrow – and if you need more chains, I've got more than enough to spare."

"You've been spending way too much time around Sai," Sakura said, disgusted. "Keep that stuff to yourself."

Ino sniffed, looking hurt. "Prude."

Sakura ignored her and turned back to the watching the audience. Thankfully, it looked like she wouldn't have to exert her authority; people were winding down, and almost everybody was in their seats. As the lights began to dim, Sakura grinned despite herself. "Hey, Ino, it's about to start. Sit down."

"Geez." Ino obeyed the command, even as she continued to rib her Hokage. "Acting like a kid, much? You're practically bouncing in your seat. I thought you didn't care about this thing?"

"Oh, be quiet. I'm entitled to be excited. It's all about the people I love."

* * *

Everyone went quiet as a man, clad in a tuxedo, walked onto the stage stiffly. Actually, to call him a man was a slight misnomer; while evidently male, he was clearly a puppet, although an incredibly well-made one. His facial features looked perfect, but his joints had unnatural stretches and spaces in them, and his hands were entirely made of wood, without even the fake skin that used on his face. Nevertheless, his gait was human, and he wore his tuxedo well; a couple of people cheered at him, and he sighed briefly before stepping behind the podium at the corner of the stage. He looked morosely at the piece of paper he held in one hand, and rubbed the back of his head with the other, causing his pineapple-shaped hair to bob.

"Welcome," he finally said, with the smallest amount of passion possible, "to the first, and only, showing of 'The Revival of the Uchiha'."

A loud cheer could be heard coming a crowd of kids in the front row, most prominently from the black-haired girl at the front of them. "YEAH! GO UCHIHA!"

The girl looked like she wanted to say more, but the blond boy at her side interrupted her vigorous shouting with a whack to the head. There was a brief scuffle, before an adult pulled the two apart.

"If I may continue?" The man on stage asked condescendingly. After a pregnant silence, he coughed. "Well-"

From behind the curtain the sound of an explosion echoed out. Several ninja got to their feet, but everyone relaxed when the dual cry of "Chidori!" and "Rasengan!" was heard. The man on stage leaned over despairingly, looking even more unenthusiastic than previously.

"I apologize," he said after a long, depressed pause. "It seems that a pair of our actors have forgotten that they are... actors. I'd give you twenty guesses to figure out who, but I'd lose that on the first try. Hokage-sama, would you do the honors?"

Sakura threw her hat to the side viciously before disappearing from sight. The sounds of fighting from backstage paused briefly, before resuming. This time, though, it only lasted a few seconds before a high-pitched scream was heard, quickly joined by a second, even higher one. Sakura then reappeared in her seat, wiping her hands with a towel. Ino promptly handed her the Hokage's hat, which Sakura glared at viciously before roughly placing on top of her head.

The black-haired girl who had so loudly proclaimed her allegiance earlier turned to her companion. "Ha! Did you hear that? Your dad screams like a _girl!_"

"No way!" This seemed to rouse the blond boy to action. "It was _your_ dad that screamed so high!"

"My dad's way more awesome than yours is! There's no way he'd scream like that!"

"Uh-uh! My dad could beat yours any day!"

"Oh yeah!?"

"Yeah!"

The two launched themselves at each other, but were interrupted by a very gray-haired Hatake Kakashi. Aside from his hair being longer, greyer, and a little thinner, he looked almost the same as he did twenty years previous, down to his clothing. "Be quiet, you two. You're disturbing the audience."

The black-haired girl, struggling against Kakashi's iron grip, growled at him. "Leave us alone, old man!"

Everyone in a short radius froze for a second, and Kakashi looked at the two, his cold gaze making them instantly still. Then he smiled, his single eye crinkling in what appeared to be amusement. "I'm sorry. I didn't quite hear that. What did you just say?"

"N-n-nothing, Uncle Kakashi. I said n-nothing." The black-haired girl said, quivering, while the blond boy nodded fervently.

Kakashi nodded. "Good. Now, let's let Shikamaru do his job, okay?"

He let them go and turned away. Both children sat down in their seats, but it only took a few seconds for them to recover. "Hey," the girl whispered to her companion, "Let's prank him later."

"I heard that."

"Doesn't mean you can _stop _us, ol-" she was interrupted by the blond slapping a hand over her mouth; he shook his head back and forth, and then let her go. The girl took a breath, and then turned back. "You'll never see us coming!"

Kakashi said nothing; he just smiled, as if to say, 'we'll see about that', and then went back to his seat.

"Well," the puppet on stage, now identified as Shikamaru, said wearily, "I know I've had enough drama. Let's say we call it a-" A small fan came whirling out from behind the curtain, impacting on his head with the sharp, hollow sound of wood hitting wood. He looked stunned for a second, and then whirled back to glare at the curtain. "That _chipped _something! I think there's a crack on my head, now!" A barely audible whisper could be heard, which Shikamaru was able to catch; his face blanched, and then he turned back to the podium with a sigh. "Right, right. Let's get this over with. So-"

"-Troublesome!" The group of kids near the two troublemakers interrupted, and then laughed as Shikamaru glared at them, sighed again, opened his mouth to say something, then clamped it closed and glared at the kids again.

"How about I just start over, huh?" There were a few amused calls of agreement from the audience, so Shikamaru nodded. "Right." He took a deep breath, and then once again began reading from the paper. "Welcome to the first showing of 'The Revival of the Uchiha.' I am your narrator, Shikamaru. This play is split into three parts; the cast is played by the actual people when possible, and by members of the Puppet Brigade when not. A lot of work has gone into this, so I hope you try and enjoy it, difficult as that may be."

Shikamaru dodged another fan, and then the light focused on center stage as the curtain rose, accompanied by polite clapping – and a few impolitely loud cheers – from the audience.

Sasuke walked on stage slowly and surely. He would have appeared much more graceful if the large bruise on his chest didn't reveal his slow pace was as much from soreness as it was from acting. The edge of a large purple circle on his chest was revealed by the loose kimono – styled after the traditional Sound robes – he was wearing. He was wearing makeup to hide the few stress lines that now graced his face, making him look much younger; there were quite a few cat calls from the audience.

Sakura scowled, and then stood up and shouted out, "Yeah! That's my _husband!_"

The cat calls instantly stopped, but the black-haired girl at the front shouted out herself. "And that's my dad!"

"And mine!" One of the other children called out.

"Mine, too!" Another child said.

"Mine, three!"

Sasuke scowled as the large group of children – whose appearance varied wildly – continued to shout out their parentage. "I am not your father! Get it through your thick heads! I'm just the genetic base!"

The black haired girl stood up and turned around to face the other children. Her large, passionate eyes looked slightly out of place when compared to her small nose, but the rest of her face appeared to side with the eyes; her eyebrows were thin, but dense, and her chin was strong, almost manly. Her fine, black hair was pulled into a short ponytail at the back of her head, but even this couldn't restrain its energy – it whipped about at her slightest movement, seeming to float through the air. The blond at her side looked bored as she raised her fist into the air. "Comrades! Who is the father of our soul?"

"Uchiha Sasuke, Miara-dono!" The children responded with great fervor.

"Comrades! Who gave us the duty of continuing on the Uchiha Lineage?"

"Uchiha Sasuke, Miara-dono!"

"Comrades! We have a sacred mission! Can anyone possibly stand in our way!?"

"Miara-dono!" The children became even more frenzied. "Lead the Uchiha Brigade to greatness!"

The black haired girl, now identified as Uchiha Miara, placed her hands at her (uncurved as of thirteen, to her private dismay) hips and laughed maniacally. "I will do that exactly!"

The blond boy sighed loudly. He seemed totally disinterested in everything around him aside from Miara – if she wasn't there, he would have no doubt been snoring by now. His face was pointed, ironically slightly more feminine than his companion's, and held a quiet, tense fortitude; it seemed like he was always watching, always judging. His blond hair was his only wild point; it rebelled against his calm image, and fell down his back in a half-hearted tumble, small spikes shooting up now and then. "You done yet, Miara?"

One of the children pointed a finger at him. "Silence, Traitor!"

"Yeah!" Another kid took up the cause. "You are the Enemy, Sano!"

Sano smirked. "Well, someone's got to do it. Otherwise you Uchihas will forget how lame you actually are."

Several children growled at him venomously, but were interrupted in their rebuttals by Sasuke looming over them from the edge of the stage. "Are you all _quite_ done yet? I have a story to tell."

The Uchiha Brigade instantly quieted down, and even Sano relaxed back into his seat. Miara, on the other hand, snapped to attention. "At once, Comrade!"

Sasuke waved his hand tiredly as he returned to his spot on stage. He cleared his throat, and then took a dramatic stance.

"My name," he said coldly, "is Uchiha Sasuke. When I was but a child, my brother murdered my entire clan. Ever since then I have striven to become stronger, in order to take my revenge. Konoha was unable to provide me with what I needed; instead, I turned to Orochimaru to obtain the power I required."

The were a few boos from the audience, and Miara cupped her hands to her mouth and shouted out, "Come back to us, Comrade! We still need your sexy butt!"

Sasuke flinched, and the stared at his child in confusion. "How can you say that to your father!?"

"Because it's true! But your butt isn't a sexy as mine."

Sano smirked. "You're the least feminine girl I know, and that's counting the crossdressing guys."

Sakura, up in her box seat, was struggling against the urge to run away as Miara and Sano's second scuffle was interrupted, this time by Lee. It wasn't the fight that was angering her; it was the betting that the rest of the audience was doing. "Why are civilians so much better at this sort of thing than we are?"

Ino snorted. "Civilian plays are boring. We ninjas require interactivity!"

Regaining his poise, Sasuke continued. "Orochimaru, devil that he was, only wanted me for my body."

"Damn right he did!" Someone from the audience called out – probably Anko.

Sasuke ignored them. "When he tried to take my body, though, he could not conquer my Sharingan. Instead of him taking over my body, I absorbed his mind."

A puppet, a giant white snake composed of many smaller ones, slithered onto stage. It hissed at Sasuke aggressively. "Sassssuke, I will take your body, and usssse it to further my own endssss!"

Pulling a sword – the actual Kusanagi – out of his belt, Sasuke held it at the ready. "You cannot defeat me, serpent, for my revenge is not complete, and you are weak. You cannot defeat the Uchiha!" He disappeared from sight, and then reappeared on the other side of the snake, sheathing Kusanagi. The snake fell to pieces, still, and a cloud of chakra shaped like a phantom Orochimaru was sucked, screaming, into the back of Sasuke's head.

Sasuke began walking slowly across the stage. "My next goal was to defeat my brother, as I now had the power I required. I gathered a group of warriors, but they are unimportant to my story."

"Cheapskates!" An audience member – again, probably Anko – called out.

A face popped out from behind the back-stage curtains on the right. It was easily recognizable as Kankuro, thanks to the hood that covered his head. "Hey, puppets are expensive! You try coming up with three extra puppets when you've got one week and no helpers!"

Resolutely, Sasuke tried to ignore the interruptions. "After searching for a long time, and overcoming many hazards, I found my brother, Uchiha Itachi."

Another puppet came onto stage. This one was as well made as Shikamaru was, but while the head and face were a perfect likeness for Itachi, the rest of the body was a little off – the large akatsuki robe tried to hide it, but the man's body was huge and bulky. "Little brother, you do not hate me enough. You cannot defeat me!"

"He's not little," Miara called out. "The rest of the world is just too big!"

A vein began to throb on Sasuke's forehead. "Miara, I didn't really mean that. It was a joke."

"Then why were you and all those other short people wearing big black cloaks and meeting in the middle of the night, repeating that like some kind of chant?"

"Th-that's..."

A member of the audience – who was also very short – stood up angrily. "Don't make fun of SPA! Short People Anonymous is a perfectly legitimate organization!"

"SPA?" Naruto poked his head on stage, from the opposite side that Kankuro had. He was sporting a truly awe-inspiring black eye; it was already discoloring into several different shades of purple. "Back when I was the leader, we were called SIA, for Short Is Awesome. Why'd you change it?"

Sasuke turned towards the blond, frustration clear on his face. "While 'Short is Awesome' might have seemed 'cool' when you were a kid, now..."

Naruto grinned. "Now that you're a... mature adult, it doesn't fit? Yes, I agree completely. A secret society of short people _does_ seem a little silly, doesn't it?"

The short person who had stood up before shook his fist at Naruto. "Silence, traitor! You lost the right to judge us when you resigned from your position as leader! Besides, you're not short anymore!"

"Yeah, I _know._ Isn't it _great?_"

"Right," 'Itachi' said, his voice quite a few notes too deep for his part. "Let's get back to the script, okay? Ahem."

"Ah, right." Sasuke resumed his dramatic stance. "I have lived my life for this moment, brother. I will defeat you!"

The two rushed at each other and exchanged some blows. To an adult jounin it seemed like an especially tame sparring session, but to the academy students, the genin, and most of the chunin it was pretty impressive. At one point the 'ghost' of Orochimaru leapt out of Saske's head and tried to stab Itachi with Kusanagi, cackling, but Itachi 'stabbed' it with a kunai and it disappeared. The battle finally ended with Sasuke getting forced against a prop wall that suddenly rose from the floor (a wooden wall colored like a stone one, courtesy of Yamato).

"Brother," Itachi said, "Now that I have freed you from the snake's taint, there is only one thing left to do. The Uchihas have a long history of stealing the Mangekyo Sharingan eyes from their own brothers. I wish to take yours – but I will not. Live long, brother."

In a blur of speed that only the jounins recognized for what it was, Itachi popped out his puppet eye, removed Sasuke's glass one from his right eye, and replaced it with his puppet one. Then he stepped back and, whirling around dramatically, made it across half the stage before collapsing.

Anko stood up angrily. "What the hell was that supposed to be!? I've seen _pornos_ with better scripting!"

Sasuke winced when his new eye scraped against the inside of his eye socket, but tried to ignore it. "Be quiet, Anko. We just have to work with what we have, and so should you." Regaining his dramatic poise, he raised a fist into the air. "I don't understand why you let me live, brother, but I won't ever forgive you for killing our clan!"

Another person suddenly appeared on stage, clad in an Akatsuki cape. He wore a mask that hid his face, but removed it to reveal a puppet with a single (fake) Sharingan eye. "Sasuke, I come bearing the truth. I am Uchiha Madara, the original Uchiha, and-

There was a large boo from the Uchiha Brigade. "You're no ancestor of ours!" Miara exclaimed, and threw a crumpled paper bag at Madara.

"Hey! Stop that!" The other Brigade members began throwing their own ammunition, mostly consisting of the sticky, spent remains of cheap candy that lost its flavor after a minute or two. "Hey! Stop taking your aggression out on me!"

"Silence, Clan Traitor!"

"Miara!" Sakura's voice called out loudly, clearly ticked off, and the entire Brigade ceased their assualt. "Stop messing with the play!"

"S, sorry, mom," Miara meekly said, and waved for the Brigade to stand down. They needed no further urging; the Hokage could be _scary!_

"Anyway," Madara said, still sounding annoyed, "Itachi was actually a good guy. He was ordered to kill the other Uchihas because they were plotting a coup, but he loved you too much, so he didn't kill you."

"No! I don't believe it!" Sasuke clapped his hands over his ears. "Itachi was the good guy? Never!"

"He never wished to kill you; just now, in fact, he gave you one of his Mangekyo Sharingan eyes. His only desire was to keep you safe."

"Then..." Sasuke gathered his resolution. "Then that means Konoha are the bad guys. If that is the case, then there is only one thing for me to do: I will pledge myself to defeat Konoha!"

Madara nodded. "Yes, Konoha needs to be destroyed. Work with me, so that we remove their taint from the land!"

Sasuke nodded, and moved to shake Madara's in agreement, but out of nowhere Naruto appeared on stage. He was wearing an orange and black jumpsuit, which was a little tight on him. More wolf whistles came out from the audience, followed by Sano leaping up angrily. "Dad! What are you _doing,_ wearing something so embarrassing!? Have you no shame!?"

Naruto waved the complaints away. "Deal with it, Sano. You should be glad I didn't decide to put on my rainbow tiedyed jumpsuit!"

Sano gaped for a moment, before turning even redder. "Whaaat!? I thought I _burned _that!"

"Pfft. I have lots of spares."

In the audience, Lee stood up and vaulted onto the back of his chair. "Naruto! You continue to walk the path of Youth! I salute your determination!" He and Naruto exchanged gleaming grins, and then returned to their respective positions in their seat and on the stage.

Sano continued to get redder, but Naruto ignored him and turned back to Sasuke. "Sasuke! I, Uzumaki Naruto, have come to bring you back to the light side! Come back to Konoha, where you belong!"

Sasuke drew Kusanagi, but where it had obviously been a practiced, almost tame movement when he diced up the snake and fought Itachi, this time there was real bloodlust in his movements. "Naruto, the ma- boy I considered my rival. The time has come for use to decide our differences with violence."

Naruto crouched, pulling out a pair of kunai. He, too, was acting like he was serious. "Just the way I like it!"

Miara cheered loudly, along with the rest of the Brigade. "Take the blond blowhard down, dad!"

Sano grinned and cheered himself, forgetting his previous embarrassment. "Teach the Uchiha a lesson, dad! Show them what the Uzumaki clan is all about!"

"Hah!" Miara turned on Sano. "You can't have a clan with two people!"

"Sure we can! Let me show you the power of the Uzumaki clan!"

The Uchiha and the Uzumaki, both parent and child, leapt into action at the same time. The fight between Sano and Miara was a little more aggressive this time, showcasing their excellent taijutsu skills, but no one moved to stop it – instead, they began actively cheering for one side or the other.

The fight between Naruto and Sasuke, though, was something else; where the fight between Sasuke and Itachi had been on a level no jounin would consider threatening, the two rivals were now exchanging blows that were too fast for the more inexperienced jounin to track. Nothing but taijutsu – and a little kenjutsu – was being used, but a whirlwind was forming on the stage from the speed they were moving at. Each knew the other's fighting style so well that they were able to constantly step inside each other's guard; the result was that it was difficult to tell where one ninja ended and the other began. They flowed around each other's strikes, anticipating, dodging, blocking, and making counter-blows at speeds many jounins could only dream of while making it look like a scripted dance. But both had edged weapons, and neither was perfect in their defense; soon streaks of blood began appearing on the stage, proof that this was another extension of the fight between the Eternal Rivals. Even though everyone knew how it would end, most of the ninjas couldn't tear their eyes away.

Finally, the moment of truth came, for both fights at the same time. Sasuke deliberately gave Naruto an opening, deciding that it was, sadly, time to move on with the play. Naruto carefully hit him with a palm strike, knocking the breath out of him, and Sasuke took the opportunity to sink to his knees, defeated.

For the children, however, it was nowhere near as clean; when Sano and Miara broke off, both breathing heavily and neither having the advantage, Miara swept her hand out imperiously. "Uchiha Brigade! Advance on the Traitor!"

Sano squawked as he was dogpiled by several dozen children, all of whom had higher than average Taijutsu skills. "C-coward!" He called out, fruitlessly trying to shake them off.

Sasuke grinned as he watched his child direct her 'troops.' "I may have lost today, Naruto," he said, unable to resist changing the script a bit, "but the next generation will be different!"

"Yeah, no kidding." Naruto casually placed a kunai at Sasuke's throat. "Who would have thought the Uchiha would resort to rat-pack tactics?"

Sasuke nodded, smiling. Madara was retreating off stage, spouting curses of revenge, but no one was listening to him. "Indeed. But they will still win!"

Naruto pushed the kunai a little closer. "Perhaps. But right now, I have defeated you. And now, I will bring you back to Konoha, where you will realize exactly how wrong you are!"

* * *

As the actors went off stage and the first intermission began, Sakura slammed her fist down on the banister, causing it to crack. "They ignored my suggestion! How dare they!?"

"I hardly think having Sasuke turn Naruto into a living pincushion on stage would make a good play," Ino said, eyebrows raised. "Aside from the matter of trying to convince Naruto to go along with it, do have any idea how difficult it would be to clean all that blood up?"

"Not nearly difficult enough." Sakura placed her head morosely down on her hands, resting them on the cracked banister. "This is a ninja play! Why can't we have some real blood!?"

"We _did._ Didn't you see the stuff go flying during the fight?"

"That wasn't good enough. I wanted to some actual violence, something you can bite your teeth into!"

"You just wanted Naruto to get some wounds that wouldn't heal by the time the show ended, so you could go 'console' him afterwards."

Sakura blushed slightly, turning away. "Yeah, well, maybe I did. Sasuke's always coming back with some sort of injury that I can treat for him, but Naruto's always in perfect shape for our dates. It's not fair!"

Ino waved her finger back and forth. "How shameful! Our Hokage, having an affair!"

"Stuff it, Ino. I'm the Hokage. If I wanted to, I could completely rewrite out marriage laws."

"Then why don't you?" Ino asked playfully, grinning.

Sakura sank even further forward, looking even more morose. "Because it would be a pain in the ass to convince the council. But I'll get it done someday! There's no reason ninjas should have to deal with monogamy when we're risking our lives. We don't need that kind of emotional baggage. If we love more than one person – well, then we should just love more than one person!"

"Right, right. I've heard a hundred times before, no need to preach to me again."

Sakura remained morose for a moment more, and then sat back up angrily. "They simplified everything to the point of being ridiculous! They made it seem like Sasuke never even acted together with Madara, completely igoring the whole year he spent working as that man's subordinate! And let's not even get _started _with Itachi! 'Official version of events' my ass!"

Ino shrugged. "Council's orders. While there would be a riot if they tried to pretend Itachi hadn't been acting on orders, they wanted to minimize his impact on the play."

"Bah. It's insulting that they think this'll minimize anything. It's one of the points that stuck out the most! It would have been smarter to-"

Suddenly both women tensed slightly, right before an ANBU member appeared behind them, crouching politely. "Hokage-sama," the woman said, her white and red mask in the shape of a turtle's face, "I have an urgent report that you must hear."

Sakura didn't bother to turn around. "Alright. We have time now. Ino, please secure our privacy."

Ino nodded, before disappearing. The ANBU stood up and then bowed, holding a sparsely filled folder out for the Hokage to take. When she had done so, the ANBU began explaining what exactly had happened.

* * *

The forest clearing was filled with noise. Dozens of people were climbing out of a glowing rift in the air, a tear in the fabric of reality. The forest itself, whispering in the wind, seemed to be taking offense at the intruders; where before ninja had been the ones to break the peace, at least they were quiet about their business when possible. These people, though, were acting like civilians more than anything else. They weren't even _trying_ to be quiet! The trees shivered, as if they were chattering amongst each other.

Marcus, a middle aged man of Asian descent clad in a white lab coat with a permanently apathetic expression, looked around him. The first thing he had noticed upon stepping through the portal was that, despite the light streaming into the clearing, everything seemed touched by a spirit of grim silence. To a normal person, he supposed, it would have seemed bright and cheerful, but his 'gifts' let him sense more than normal people could. There was an air of malign intent coming from the forest, but this was quite normal for old ones; they frequently detested intruders, but they could do little to chase them out. There was something else that bothered him, though, something more important; he could tell that blood had been spilled on the ground here, and more than once.

He bent his knees and pushed his glasses farther up the bridge of his nose. Trailing his fingers through the grass, looking for some tangible sign or relic of the violence that had occurred, he couldn't help but be amazed at how green the grass was. Evidence of a corpse buried underneath? No marks in the earth betrayed such a thing, but his gift hinted to him that people had died here, and not all that long ago. Could someone have deliberately cut up the turf, buried the corpse, and then laid the grass back so gently that no signs remained of its disturbance? Possibly, but the greater question was: why would someone practice such absolute secrecy, in the middle of a forest?

But nothing was that simple, really. His gift, the ability to sense traces of violence, both past and present, didn't discriminate. If a dozen people had suffered severe injuries here, it would have left about the same imprint as an execution, meaning that it was very difficult to try and pin anything down without other facts to extrapolate with.

There remained the grass, though, and its disturbing virility. He could almost feel the violence on the blades themselves. Perhaps it would be best to cast a geomancy spell to see what was there, just in case. If a corpse really was buried underneath, they could learn a lot from it.

Someone called out his name behind him, making him rise up and turn around quickly. It was the blond woman, the American. Her blond hair was far too long – any real researcher would know that such long hair would get tnageled up in pretty much whatever equipment you were using, but she seemed oblivious to this. He was certain she had slept with the project director to get in on this trip, and he found that intensely distasteful. At the very least she had made her complete lack of respect for those without power very clear in the past, and Marcus had been included in that rank, being a minor researcher himself.

"What are you doing, Marcus? We need to get moving!" The woman, whose name was Angela if he recalled correctly, was frowning at him imperiously. She gestured towards the dozen aurors walking around the clearing, who were establishing a perimeter and checking to make sure their presence was unknown and would remain that way. "As soon as everyone crosses through the portal we're out of here!"

"I think there may be a corpse under here," Marcus said apathetically. It was hard for him to muster emotion when conversing with others; whether this was because of his 'gift,' or for some other reason, he didn't know.

Angela looked down at him impatiently, and then sighed as she went over to talk to one of the aurors. After a short interchange they both headed back to where Marcus was kneeling.

The auror bent down as well. "You think there's a corpse here?"

Marcus nodded. "Yes, I do. I can tell that something terribly violent happened here in the near past, and this grass seems a little too healthy. Could you perform a geomantic sonar spell?"

Without saying a word, the auror pulled out his wand and spiked it straight down into the ground. Placing his palm on the top, he then chanted a few words under his breath, and pressed the wand all the way into the ground violently. Immediately afterwards he pulled his hand back up, the wand coming up along with it. Attached to the tip was an ethereal wisp of light, which the auror shook out into a three dimensional diagram of what lay under the ground.

The auror pointed out the clear shape of a decaying corpse laying only a foot under the ground. "There it is. Only a year or so old." Then he frowned as he took in more of the image. "This guy's dressed in muggle covert op wear, I think – a little primitive by their standards, but more than effective for this forest. If guys like this were killing each other, it'd explain why he'd be buried under such secrecy – if they can't find the corpse, they'd have no proof of his death. There might be some hostiles still around; I'll put up the alert."

Angela gave Marcus a bright smile, which he found disgusting. "Good job! Guess you're going to end up being useful after all!"

Marcus turned around to spit, but was interrupted by a yell from one of the aurors, followed shortly by said man chanting out, 'Stupefy!' Turning around he witnessed a man, dressed very similarly to the one under the ground, dodge the stunning spell that had come out of the auror's wand almost effortlessly, and dash out of the bushes, so fast that he nearly seemed to teleport. He grabbed the offending auror by behind and placed a short knife at his neck; backing away while holding the auror hostage, he shouted in a language that, while similar in composition to the Japanese Marcus and the other researchers spoke, was different enough that they couldn't understand more than a few words of what he said. One of the aurors, after a moment's thought, coldly pointed his wand at the intruder and cast another stunning spell.

That was when all hell broke loose.

* * *

Sakura felt exhausted. "So these people were clearly hostile?"

The ANBU nodded. "I wasn't sure of their intentions when we first began observing them, but their response to our presence was that of soldiers suddenly confronted by an ambush of unexpectedly superior hostile forces – they even went so far as to shoot at a hostage. I personally apologize for our incompetence in getting caught – as far as I can tell, we did nothing to give away our presence – but as soon as we were discovered, they attacked. My men and I responded with the minimal amount of force to capture them, but these people fought as if getting captured was worse than death. The group, as I told you, was composed of both soldiers and civilians; the soldiers covered the civilians retreat across the portal, and when they could no longer hold the position against us, the ones who were left closed the portal and attempted to commit suicide. Unfortunately, we could not prevent the soldiers from killing themselves, but there was a pair of civlians who got left behind, and the soldiers didn't have a chance to kill them."

"So you only have two prisoners?" Sakura massaged her temples to help herself think, a habit she had picked up over the years. "Well, we'll just have to make do. Inform Ibiki that I want a full interrogation team to give them a once over, but make sure to keep their positions as civilians in mind; I don't want shattered minds here. And after you inform Ibiki, compose an in-depth report that I can go over. I want every detail you and your men can remember, alright?"

The ANBU bowed shortly. "Will you be staying here, Hokage-sama?"

"Unforutunately, yes. Thanks to those two idiots arguing over the facts in public, if I leave now it'll look like this play is a coverup. 'Course, if we had just announced the truth before hand, I wouldn't have to be going through this, but _no,_ it had to be made into a moral-raising _event._" Sakura groaned, and dismissed the ANBU with a hand wave. "Blasted councilors."

She turned back to the stage, realizing that the second part was starting.

* * *

Once again the curtains opened up, revealing Sasuke, hands bound behind him, facing a panel of aged councilors. He was still clad in his Sound kimono, although it was looking a little roughed up. Though his wounds from his fight with Naruto had been healed by a medic-nin, Sasuke was looking displeased; while the play called for him to act as such during this scene, it was probably more due to the fact that he had just publicly 'lost' to Naruto.

"Sasuke," the woman in the center of the councilors, a seemingly unaged Tsunade (not surprising, since she always kept her appearance in her thirties), called out imperiously, "you have been charged with treason. What do you have to say for yourself?"

Sasuke spat. "I say that you are the treasonous ones. You are the ones who killed the Uchiha clan – _you_ are the ones who drove my brother to do what he did. I regret nothing."

Tsunade continued, unfazed, "We are willing to lesson your penalty – give you a chance at getting your life back. But you must pledge that you will not turn on Konoha again."

Looking forward defiantly, Sasuke's eyes never wavered. "I will do no such thing. I would rather die than serve monsters."

Tsunade bowed her head sadly. "So be it."

Suddenly Naruto dashed onto stage, a pair of puppet guards attempting to hold him back. "Wait! Stay your hand!" He dramatically shaded his eyes with the back of his hand. "Oh, Sasuke! That we would be driven to such extremities, brothers such as we! Take my hand, brother of my soul! I will guide you to the light! Together we-"

"Naruto," Shikamaru said tiredly, "stop changing the script."

Naruto looked affronted. "But, the script makes me sound like an idiot! I spent all night thinking this up, and it's way better!"

"Stick with the script, idiot." Sasuke rolled his eyes, breaking his steadfast image. "What you just said sounds a lot worse."

"He's right, dad," Sano said, nodding sagely. "You're better off acting like a simpleton. Better to live in a pond with the goldfish than in the sea with the sharks."

Naruto frowned at his son, clearly confused, but then sighed. "Fine! Fine. I give up. I'll stick to the script." Naruto cleared his throat. "Hold it right there! You can't kill Sasuke; I didn't save him so you could kill him again! Leave it to me; I'll make sure to straighten him out! We'll..." Naruto flinched, whispered something venomously, and then said with as much enthusiasm as he could muster, "We'll be best buds again in no time flat!"

"See? " Sasuke snickered. "Was that so hard- Oh, wait, I mean, 'I need nothing from an imbecile like you!'" Sasuke tried to resume his previous mood, but was unable to completely get rid of the lightheartedness that Naruto had injected into the scene.

Tsunade seemed to ponder Naruto's offer for a second, a smile stuck to her lips, and then nodded. "Alright; I'll let you try to reform him. Let's see what you can do, Naruto!"

Naruto grabbed Sasuke, lifted him to his feet, and cut his bonds. The two walked off stage as an ANBU passed them on the way in. "Hokage-sama!" the man cried loudly, "Something positively _terrible _has happened!"

"What is it, man? Speak up!"

"The villages of Kumo, Kiri, and Ame have aligned themselves together, and are planning to attack Konohagakure!"

Tsunade seemed shocked. "Have our allies in Suna been informed?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama, but even with their help, it seems unlikely that we would be able to repel such an alliance!"

"Then we must seek out allies." Tsunade rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "But who could we turn to?"

All of a sudden a puppet appeared out of nowhere. Much like Itachi, it had the face, but not the physique, of Kabuto. "I believe I could help with that."

The council got to its feet, and Tsuande got into a fighting stance. "What are you doing here, Kabuto?!"

Kabuto smirked. "To offer you support, of course. As the new leader of Otogakure, I choose the future of our village; with our help, you will come out on top in this conflict – and with yours, we can become one of the great villages. With Orochimaru no longer as our leader, you have nothing to fear from us; his desire for revenge no longer drives us."

Tsuande seemed to be pondering what Kabuto had said, but did not relax. "I have heard that what remains of Orochimaru has been implanted into your body. Why should I trust you?"

"It is true that part of Orochimaru lives on inside me, but that part is not his consciousness. He imparted that to Sasuke, and it was thoroughly destroyed by Itachi. Only his physical abilities live on in me; I am the one in control."

Pausing for one second longer, Tsunade stared at the new leader of Otogakure before nodding. "Very well. I will need to examine your body for corruption myself, but I will accept your proposal. Let this be the start of a new trinity – the villages of Konoha, Suna, and Oto, aligned together to bring peace to the world."

The two nodded, shook hands, and then walked off stage, followed by the councilors. The curtain fell, and then rose, revealing a new scene – that of the main street of Konoha. Sasuke and Naruto walked onto stage, Sasuke looking displeased as he stared around him.

"Sasuke," Naruto said as they wandered across the stage, "Why do you hate Konoha so much?"

"Because they are responsible for the death of the Uchihas," Sasuke responded coldly.

"But that's not true, Sasuke! That was the councilors!"

Sasuke glanced at Naruto. "What difference does that make?"

"The difference is that you're blaming everyone in this entire village for what a small group of people did!" Naruto was waving to Sasuke animatedly as another puppet, this one made up to resemble Sakura in her youth, walked onto stage. "Hey, Sakura! What would you do if I told you Sasuke blames you for the death of his clan?"

'Sakura' smiled sunnily as she walked up, and then gave Sasuke a vicious elbow and a disgusted sneer. "I'd say he's about as crazy as everyone says he is."

Sasuke was gasping for breath, on his knees and stunned by the sudden assault. "M, Moegi! That's not in the script!"

Moegi ignored him. "I'd say, he should be executed for being a traitor – but since Naruto-sama has decided to try and save him, I've got no choice but to try." She put out her foot in front of him. "Now lick like the dog you are, Uchiha."

There were loud boos from the audience, most especially from the Uchiha Brigade, but Moegi ignored them. She seemed to soak up the attention, and Sasuke was finding it difficult to avoid getting her foot stuck in his mouth. "Dog," Moegi said sadistically, "I thought I told-"

Her toes suddenly exploded into splinters, destroyed by a kunai flying from one of the box seats. Everyone turned to see the real Sakura examining her fingernails. "Oops. My hand just slipped. I had no idea," she said slowly, fixing her eyes on her counterpart on stage, "that I could _mess up_ so _badly._"

Moegi ground her teeth together, but stopped when Naruto put a hand on her shoulder. "Moegi, let's just stick to the script, okay?"

Nodding sullenly, Moegi turned back to Sasuke. "I suppose I can forgive you what you've done. You're not evil, just... misguided." She seemed to be disgusted by what she was saying, but the words came out sounding normal enough.

Naruto nodded. "Right. And as I was saying, what would you do if Sasuke blamed you for the death of his clan?"

"I'd say that he's wrong, and that if I could go back in time and stop it from happening, I'd do it in an instant."

Sasuke frowned, but nodded. "I see. Perhaps I was wrong to blame all of Konoha. But I'm not convinced yet!"

"Then I'll just keep working at it," Naruto said loudly, "until you come to your senses!"

* * *

Sakura shook her head. "I can't believe they tried to condense all of those meetings between Tsunade and Kabuto into a couple of lines!" She looked as Naruto and Sasuke continued to 'wander around Konoha' and meet various people, who all had some message to impart or lesson to teach. "And who the hell let Moegi act as me!? Anyone with half a brain would know that that bitch would try to mess it up! And, while I'm on the subject – how come that's the first time I showed up!? I know that they're trying to make me seem impartial to Naruto and Sasuke's rivalry, but I was acting as Tsunade's aide at that council meeting – I was the one who convinced Kabuto to submit to Tsunade's medical examination!"

Ino sighed. "They're trying to separate you from the councilors who ordered the Uchihas killed. Since it wasn't possible to hide it with the way Sasuke was telling everyone who came within five feet of him, Tsunade decided to become a scape goat. This should help your public image a lot, Hokage-sama."

"Why didn't anyone run this by me again?"

"Because the council decided that you were too emotionally involved to decide the issue rationally, so they ran it by me instead."

Sakura narrowed her eyes. "Hah; yeah, right. They just saw an opportunity to get one over me."

"Well," Ino said brightly, "good thing I was there to be in your stead!"

Sakura paused for a minute, and then whirled on her attendant. "It was you! _You_ let that bitch take my role! How could you!?"

Ino was suddenly all blond ditz. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Hokage-sama. I let someone else decide the actors; after all, I have no experience with such things."

"Clearly. You're probably responsible for that political whirlwind, too. Seriously; having Tsunade agree to an alliance with Oto after a two, three sentence exchange? Totally ridiculous."

Ino looked slightly guilty. "Hey, ninja plays have to be short, or else I get- I mean, ninjas get bored with them."

"I was wondering why it was progressing so fast..." Sakura got a confused expression on her face. "But then, what else is there to talk about? I mean, we're practically up to current events."

"Romance!" Ino said eagerly.

"What do you mean, Roma- Oh, no. You're going to turn my relationship with Naruto and Saske into some cheesy soap-opera love triangle, aren't you?"

Ino grinned. "Spot on! It's going to be great!"

"But, how could that possible work out with Moegi acting as me? She hates Sasuke, and is all over Naruto; I can't possibly see her managing it."

"Well," Ino began enthusiastically, "you see, it's just a matter of.. of... of being a ninja... actor... or something... Oh, damn. I didn't realize that."

Sakura slapped her forehead. "What, were you drunk when you were thinking this stuff up!?"

"Uh, well, maybe a little..."

* * *

Once it had become clear that the exciting parts were over, the Uchiha brigade turned amongst themselves and began chatting. "So," one boy said, "that fight between dad and Naruto was pretty awesome!"

"I know!" another kid said. "I mean, it would have been cooler if dad won, but uncle Naruto's pretty cool too."

Miara glared at the two who had spoken. "What did I say about my dad? He's only 'dad' when we're trying to annoy him. Otherwise, he's either 'Sasuke,' or 'Father Uchiha.' Show some respect!"

The two bowed their heads awkwardly. "Yes, Miara-dono."

Sano was rubbing the sore parts of his body. "Hmph. Some clan you guys are. You act like a bunch of cultists."

One of the kids opened his mouth angrily, but Miara shushed him. "Don't rise to his aggravations. He's just sore that he lost to the Uchihas."

"Lost!? You attacked me thirty to one!"

"So what?" Miara said arrogantly. "Once we get our Sharingans, you won't be able to touch any of us ever again! Your fate is already set; you might as well just accept it!"

Sano smirked. "You know as well as I do that, with the style my father and Uncle Gai came up with, the foresight of the Sharingan can be decieved, and there are dozens of ways to fight without looking into your eyes. Getting a Sharingan will only make you weaker!"

Miara growled at him. "You take that back! The Sharingan is the pride of the Uchiha clan!"

"Clan?" Sano looked around him exaggeratedly. "What clan? All I see is a bunch of kids... and an emo."

Miara flew into the air, enraged, but was caught mid-flight by Kakashi. "You kids are such a pain in the ass," he said, clearly annoyed. "Just because you find this part boring doesn't mean you can ruin the show for everyone else."

Sano and Miara looked at the stage, where the Eternal Rivals were competing in a contest to see who could get Sakura the most extravagant ring. Moegi was clearly favoring Naruto's choices, and tossing Sasuke's as far off stage as she could while subtly, and not-so-subtly when she could get away with it, insulting his taste. "What could possibly be interesting about this?" Miara said disgustedly, Sano nodding.

After glancing around to see that the only people listening were the children, Kakashi's single eye crinkled, and he began chucklingly pervertedly. "Well, you see, your mother is quite the woman..."

Miara started squirming, and successfully freed herself thanks to Kakashi's distraction. "Stop talking about our mom like that, you disgusting pervert, or I'll tell her that you're stalking her!"

"You shouldn't say 'our' so loudly, girl. And please. Like she doesn't know that it's me."

"What!? You mean that you really _are_ stalking mom!?" Both Miara and Sano's disgust turned to anger. "I won't let you do that to her!"

"If she wanted to stop me, she'd have done it already. I enjoy looking, and she enjoys being appreciated; it's not anything more than that. Besides, it makes sure those two fools keep on their toes; they know that if they slack off, she'll leave them for a _real _man." Kakashi began giggling pervertedly again.

Miara grimaced. "Yep. You're a real man, alright."

"Hey," one of the Uchiha Brigade kids said, "I have a question, Uncle-"

"Don't call me uncle. I don't have thirty nieces and nephews; that's just too depressing."

"Uh, right, Kakashi. How come everyone's being played by puppets in the play? Why aren't normal people acting?"

Kakashi smiled and nodded, pleased by such an intelligent question. "That's because the Puppet Brigade requested that they take as many parts as possible. They wanted to prove their usefulness to Konoha by showcasing their talent at espionage."

"Usefulness?" Miara looked confused. "Who would ever think that the puppet brigade was useless? They're awesome!"

"Well," Kakashi began slowly, trying to find the right words, "A lot of ninjas aren't exactly comfortable with puppets to begin with, since they've historically been a tool of Suna. And a lot more are disturbed by the idea that these people willingly became puppets."

Sano frowned, and looked thoughtful for a second. "The only puppet who submitted himself was Akamaru; everyone else had their life force transferred into puppet bodies as a last resort, when they were dying."

"Yes," Kakashi said, "but a lot of ninjas, especially the older ones, would rather die than become a puppet – and they expect other ninjas to do the same."

"That's just selfish!" One kid said.

"Well, they're old. They get the prerogative."

Miara smirked. "Oh, is _that _why you've refused to train us?"

Kakashi gave her a cold stare, but she seemed ready for it this time; while her grin wilted slightly, she stood her ground. After a long moment, Kakashi's cold glare faded, and he finally answered. "No, I refuse to train you because I've got better things to do."

"Like stalk our mom," Sano said dryly.

"Exactly." Kakashi turned around and began to walk back to his seat. "Now stop causing trouble."

Miara fell back into her seat, looking displeased. "Damn. And here I was hoping to provoke him."

Sano shrugged. "I don't think it's possible to provoke Kakashi; he's _always_ in control."

The leader of the Uchiha Brigade scowled. "It's not fair. How are we ever going to get good if someone doesn't train us? How are we ever going to get better than our dads?"

"With patience, sister. Patience. Every great ninja has had a great deal of patience; we must have it too."

* * *

"Sakura!" Ino was holding onto her Hokage's arm with all the strength she could muster, trying to pull her back into her seat. "You can't leave yet!"

"Nonsense! This is boring, and I'm not sitting around for it to end!"

"Have some patience, Sakura!" Ino managed to conquer Sakura's strength, and she managed to fling the woman back into her seat, falling to the ground in the process. "Ibiki is competent – _more_ than competent. He'll get the information we need."

"Bah!" Sakura fiddled with her hat. "Patience is for the weak, who can't solve their problems by attacking them head on!"

"Are you sure you aren't a man? Because you're acting like one right now!" Ino got to her feet, tenderly rubbing her sore bottom. "If you really believed that, you'd have been replaced faster than Tsunade can earn IOUs."

Sakura remained silent for a few seconds, staring at the stage, and then tried to get up again. "I can't stand it, no way. We should have Ibiki bring those two prisoners here; force them to watch this, and they'll be talking in time flat!"

"Hokage-sama, I'm afraid that would be redundant." Sakura and Ino turned around to see Ibiki himself walking into the box seat. Like many of the jounin that had survived to this day and age, he seemed almost unaged; the lack of hair on his head made it exceedingly difficult to judge his age. "I have already succeeded in making them talk."

Sakura grinned. "That's the best news I've heard all day. Let's get going!"

Ino was looking flustered. "But, Sakura! If you leave now-"

"-It'll make it look like a cover-up. Yeah, yeah, I know, and I could care less if people think this crappy romance actually happened or not. Prepare a speech for tomorrow."

"It won't sound convincing at all if you tell people that after walking out on the play!"

"They'll deal with it. I stayed for the important parts." Sakura nodded to Ibiki. "Let's get going. I'm quite curious about our visitors."

Ibiki bowed slightly, letting Sakura take the lead, and then began talking. "The prisoners were a man and a woman, named Akuno Marcus and Pride Angela respectively. Both spoke a dialect of Japanese that was foreign and strange, but we were able to get around that with a few specialists. As for what they said – well, Marcus didn't actually require any torture; he offered his help of his own free will, and I had a Hyuuga on hand to make sure he was telling the truth."

"Why would he do that?" Sakura frowned. "The soldiers worked so hard to get those civilians out of there, and then the one that doesn't make it just betrays them like that? Were they working against their will?"

"I will explain in due time, Hokage-sama, but suffice it to say that he is unique in this aspect. The woman required convincing, but she broke so fast that, frankly, I feel disappointed." Ibiki scowled. "I didn't even need to _touch_ her. All I did was threaten to give her some scars on her face, and she began babbling information."

Sakura smiled slightly. "Poor Ibiki; he didn't get to torture anyone! What is he going to do now?" The serious look returned to her face. "So? What kind of information did you get?"

"Information that is so wild and unbelievable that I couldn't possibly reveal it outside of a sealed room."

"Well." Sakura seemed slightly off balance by Ibiki's statement. "I wasn't expecting anything _that _serious. You do know that it would take an almost-Kage level ninja to break past the barrier Ino's set up around us right?"

"And in the off chance that their is such a ninja hiding around us, I'm not going to speak of the matter until we get to a secure location."

"Hmm. I understand. Tell me what you can, then."

Ibiki nodded. "As I mentioned, Marcus didn't need any torture. While the explanation in full must wait until we get to our destination, you should know that this man is... not entirely right in the head. However, his affliction is a common one – he seems to have a shallow emotional range, and thus his loyalty isn't what it could – or rather, should – have been."

"Then can he be trusted to give us valuable information?"

"As long as we verify his information with a Hyuuga, we should have no problems. You can deny a Hyuuga his ability to see if you're lying, but you can't make him think you're telling the truth. The Hyuuga who was on duty – Jina Hyuuga, a main family member and someone I trust - informed me that, while Marcus was exceedingly apathetic, he was not utilizing any techniques to prevent a Hyuuga from reading his face."

Sakura nodded, and as they reached ANBU headquarters, extended that to the sentries on duty. The sentries politely examined them from a distance, their chakra licking forward and tasting the two as they approached. They were good enough, though, that Sakura didn't even have to pause for them to finish their inspection before they stood down, letting them pass. Ibiki led her down deep into the underground depths of the building, and finally opened the door of a specially constructed meeting room with a complicated chakra signature. Sakura stepped inside, kneeled down at the low table in the center of the room, and waited for Ibiki to do the same. Once he had, she sighed, releasing some of the tension that had been building ever since Ibiki had refused to talk in public. "So."

Ibiki nodded gravely. "I'll get straight to the point. Both of the prisoners claim to be from a different world, and they claim that our world is what they call a 'pocket dimension.' This means, at least in our case, that our world was deliberately created by someone in their world."

Blinking, Sakura leaned forward. "Are you- of course you're serious. What makes you think they aren't crazy? You wouldn't have bothered me if you thought they were."

"As I'm sure you heard from the ANBU captain, the soldiers used strange weapons against them. According to our prisoners, they were called, 'wands', and the soldiers were, in fact, casting 'spells'."

Sakura narrowed her eyes, her irritation building. "Spells? Magic? This stuff belongs in fairy tales, not adult conversations. Magic is a myth, a fantasy constructed by civilians who wish they could twist reality to their whims with a word."

Ibiki chuckled, a low, ominous sound. "I thought so too, but there are two things I found out in the course of my investigations. First of all, the prisoners cast these 'spells' right in front of me, and the Hyuuga on duty didn't see any chakra in the lights they 'conjured'."

"I hope you replaced that Hyuuga."

"I did, twice. I even made sure that the second and third could watch from far away, outside the range of genjutsu, but they saw the same results. There was no chakra being manipulated when they cast their spells. But above and beyond that, there is something that all the Hyuugas almost immediately commented on: those two have no chakra systems. They are not only incapable to manipulate chakra, they have no chakra on which to live."

"That's impossible!" Sakura glared at Ibiki. "I am one of he greatest medic-nins in the world, and I have never, _ever_ seen an instance where something could live without chakra! It's the energy of life itself; there's no way you can survive without it, much less ever get to the point where you could survive without the system to circulate it!"

"It is improbable, yes – but not impossible. Not according to the prisoners." Ibuki leaned back and rubbed his forehead, an action that betrayed exactly how troubled he was; Ibiki _never_ showed weakness. It was ingrained into his very being. "The prisoners – oh, the group was composed of people of two positions: researchers, and and the soldiers, called 'aurors'. These aurors are sort of a cross between a ninja and a soldier; compared to the civilians of their world, apparently, the aurors are the elite, and have a high level of training, but their function is often more like samurai than ninja. They spend more time in the spotlight than ninja's ever do. Well, aside from Naruto, but he's a special case."

"'Special' indeed, that idiot." Sakura got a distant look on her face, and her mouth quirked into a smile without her realizing it. Ibiki's cough, though, brought her back to reality. "You were saying?"

"Yes. According to the researchers, our 'pocket dimension' is contained within an object in their world – a large, ancient stone, to be exact. When they entered our world, their intention was to find out what was inside; apparently, our world was made by an ancient 'wizard', or caster of spells, long ago. This ancient wizard was a dark one, obsessed with getting power at any cost; legends from that world point to his particular obsession being the creation of a superior race of humans. He experimented with humans and tried to improve them, but his creations either never lasted very long, or didn't carry on their traits to the next generation.

"Angela had little to say beyond that, but Marcus was full of theories – that's why he was so wiling to help us, in fact. He wants to know why we have developed so differently from them. In any case, Marcus' theory was thus: once the ancient wizard realized that artificially modifying humans wasn't working, he decided that the best way to create a superior human was to put humans in an environment where evolution forced them to become stronger."

"And that was our pocket dimension?" Sakura seemed confused. "I don't see how that would work; the only real threat we face is other ninjas. And I can't see our world cultivating ninjas from normal humans; as a race, humans would more easily survive by hiding, rather than taking out their aggressors. Even the tailed beasts couldn't kill all humans everywhere – we'd just get better at hiding from them, rather than fighting them. The connection is there, I suppose, but it seems like too much of a long shot to be a real experiment."

"Exactly." A hint of anger and disgust came to Ibiki's face. "This dark wizard realized that the greatest threat humans would ever face was themselves. So, he wove a massive enchantment into our little world: humans here would always be twisted and turned towards fighting each other, towards war."

Sakura's eyes widened slowly, the implications of Ibiki's statement gradually becoming clear to her. "Wha-what makes you think this?"

"Marcus has a talent – he can sense violence, both past and present. This world has slowly been 'grinding against him', to use his words. He says waves of violence slap against him every once in a while, making him want to be violent, and that the source of these waves encompasses the entire world. This doesn't surprise him; the rock that this world is contained in has been emitting the same effect onto their world, and as a person who's existence revolves around violence, he wanted to know why the anchor of a dimensional pocket would be emitting waves of mind-affecting magic – that's why he was on the trip on the first place. Now, he's fairly sure that he's found the reason."

Sakura was quiet for a minute, digesting this piece of information. Then she turned to Ibiki. "What exactly is the extent of this 'enchantment'?"

"According to Marcus' hasty evaluation, it literally makes people want to be violent. We've adapted to it, and are more resistant than he is – doubtlessly why we've never noticed. Marcus has also noted, though, that fighting against this urge is a strain on his mind; even in his cell, he's busily trying to develop a spell to protect him from this effect, so that he doesn't go crazy."

"Go crazy?" Sakura griped the table, leaving dents in the wood. "So people who fight against this urge, and desire peace, eventually go crazy?"

"Well, not everyone," Ibiki said carefully. "Our Hokage's have been pretty peaceful. I can't think of anyone more opposed to fighting than the Third."

"In an environment where, generation after generation, people are bombarded by these urges, there are going to be quite a few that develop an immunity. But most people are going to just give in and adapt – and those that don't, are going to be broken. Broken like the violent psychopaths that are so common in our world, like Uchiha Madara, like Orochimaru..."

"Like... Sasuke was?" Ibiki put forward, sadly.

A furious look came upon Sakura's face, and with a loud crack the table split in two where he fingers were squeezing down on it. "Like Sasuke was. Damn it, this explains so much!" Then she calmed down. "But I can't take a prisoner's word on this. Is there a way we can verify his words?"

Ibiki nodded. "Certainly. First of all, I'm sure the Yamanakas would be capable of picking up this violent urge, once alerted to it. Maybe they already have, and simply haven't come to the conclusion that it's due to outside influence, and not just a natural aspect of existence. But second, Marcus has proposed a sure-fire way of proving we live inside a pocket reality. As he explained it to me, the process of opening a portal to and from a pocket dimension is something that is stretched over several days. At a regular time each day, for three days, a spell is cast that stretches the reality between the two worlds. On the third day, reality breaks, and a portal is opened. The portal stays open for about an hour, give or take a few minutes depending on how well constructed the pocket dimension is, and then closes. For a few hours after it closes, though, the fabric of reality is still weak. If we hurry, Marcus can open another portal for us."

"And? Again, I ask if he an be trusted to do this."

"Marcus is a researcher, through and through. He wants answers, not a salary; when I asked him if he desired to return, he begged me to let him stay. He has no family, and no friends – nothing to lose. I have a feeling that investigating us would give him his raison d'etre."

Sakura paused for a few seconds, going over the decision in her mind, and then nodded firmly. "Alright. There's no time to get the council involved; I approve an expedition to this other world. Ino!"

Melting out of a genjutsu, Ino stepped away from the wall. "Yes, Hokage-sama?"

Ibiki nearly had a heart attack when Ino spoke. "Wh- bu, but, how!? This room is totally secure, and there's no way I'd miss a genjutsu at this range, after sitting next to it for so long!"

Sakura smiled wryly. "Ino isn't the head of her clan for nothing, Ibiki. The methods she uses surpass mere genjutsu. In any case: Ino, I want you to sneak through that portal. Get as much information as possible, and try to head off any retaliation that might be brewing."

Ino bowed. "At once, Hokage-sama. I will arrange for Marcus to open the portal for me immediately." She then opened the door and walked out, giggling like an airhead when the guards fell over themselves trying to question her presence.

Sakura was still smiling as she watched Ibiki stare at Ino leave. "Bewitched by the Yamanaka Princess, are we?"

This snapped Ibiki out of his daze. "Please. I'm not a fool; I know how dangerous she is. I just didn't know that her clan's abilities could do something like that."

"They couldn't until she became clan head. Like every other member of the Rookie Nine, she's become valuable beyond belief."

"Even Tenten," Ibiki said idly, without thinking.

Sakura rolled her eyes as she got to her feet. "That joke is getting old. Marrying Kankuro and bringing him here isn't her only contribution, you know. She's a master blacksmith, the sole skilled hunter Konoha has, an excellent kunoichi, and the head of the new Living Puppet clan. That, and she wasn't even a member of the original nine; the reason she and Lee got shoehorned in there is because her abilities have excelled and grown to the same extent that the Rookie Nine have."

Ibiki rubbed the back of his head, sheepishly following Sakura out the door. "Sorry, Hokage-sama. It's a joke that gets told pretty frequently; most of the ANBU, including me, say it on reflex whenever someone mentions the Rookie Nine."

"Hmph." Sakura croseed her arms, and gave the two ANBU guards a withering glare as she passed. "Men. Such pigs."

"Actually, the first person to come up with it was a female."

"I bet it was Moegi, the little viper."

"Ah, well, I can't confirm or deny-"

"Enough, Ibiki. I'm not going to punish anyone. It's just a joke, and Tenten can take care of herself."

"That's good to hear, Hokage-sama."

Neither spoke for a few seconds, making their way back to ground level. Then, "Well? Was it that harlot who started it, or not?"

"Hokage-sama..."

* * *

Eroichi Masama stood angrily, nearly quivering from restrained fury, as the aurors quietly tended to each other's wounds. His ridiculously thick head of hair shivered along with him and, when compared to his pencil-thin body, seemed to have a life of its own. The elite troops' failure wasn't what was angering him, though; it was the researchers he had just left in the meeting room. The babbling little fools had nearly rioted against his authority, and that was more than he could take. He hadn't fought his way to becoming the head of this project just to have a bunch of scared old men ignore him!

He found that he was rapidly hitting his clipboard with his pen – so hard, in fact, that the pen was starting to fall apart in his hands. Cursing, he tossed it away before the ink could come out and stain his hands. He reached into his lab coat pocket, but found himself out of pens, for once. Growling venomously, he looked around the room, hoping to find someone who looked like they would have a spare pen. No one but aurors met his gaze. His hand tight on the clipboard, Masama rotated sharply and walked out the door at a brisk pace.

_Damn it! This day couldn't get any worse. I can't believe that Angela would be one of the two who didn't make it back! Damn it, I needed her – she was a good assistant, if a terrible researcher! And a good stress reliever, but I don't think even her expert ministrations could make me feel any better now..._ Masama whipped his head around as he saw movement in the corner of his eye, and was pleased to have found a scientist. "You there! Come here!"

The scientist, an old, mostly bald Japanese man in a lab coat, cowered at Masama's call. "Y-yes?" he said, hesitantly. "I-is there s-something I can help you with?"

Masama nodded, pleased at his colleagues polite, if timid, behavior in the middle of this crisis. "Yes, there is. First of all, I need a pen. Do you have a spare?"

The old man blinked, and then nodded before pulling one out of his lab coat pocket. Handing it over, he received a polite, if restrained, nod in return.

"Second..." Masama continued, "I don't remember you at the meeting we just had."

"Ah..." The man began kneading his hands, obviously a nervous habit. "Well, I was in the back, and I didn't want to disturb everyone when they were so... tense... so I just stayed quiet. I-is there a problem with that?"

Masama shook his head. "Not at all. Were you with the expedition?"

The old man nodded. "I didn't really see any of what happened, but..." He glanced around to make sure they were alone. "I don't really see what the problem is. The probability of the inhabitants of a pocket dimension crafted by a dark wizard of legend being hostile was quite high, right from the beginning, and that's not even counting in the magical hostility that was pouring out of the anchor." He began to grow a little confident as he continued to talk. "I've been on quite a few of these kinds of expeditions before, and the initial team being forced to retreat happens about half the time – they weren't called dark wizards for nothing. We just need to calmly take a second look at the situation, and move from there."

For a second Masama seemed surprised, and then he smiled – an action that looked decidedly out of place on his lined, serious face. "Finally! Someone who is actually thinking! I'm appointing you my liason – if the other researchers have an opinion on what we should do next, they'll have to talk to you first. What's your name?"

"H-h-hazami Touri!" Touri seemed to be having a mental breakdown. "B-b-but, I d-don't think I'm q-qualified for such a p-position! I couldn't p-possibly-"

"Nonsense!" Masama clapped Touri on the back. "Here's what you do: You listen to what they say; you respond that you'll get back to them; and then you forget about it."

"B-but that's not right; I can't just i-ignore them-"

"Of course you can! None of them are thinking in their right mind right now – they're just too scared. I'm not actually telling you to make any decisions – this is just to let them vent."

"V-v-vent!?" Touri's legs began to buckle. "Y-you want me to let them _v-v-vent _their fear at me!? I can't-"

"Sure you can. Now, get to it!" Masama pushed Touri off down the corridor, and then turned around and made his way in the opposite direction. Smiling broadly, he entered his private quarters and locked the door before sitting down in front of his desk.

A small, red imp climbed out of its nest inside a box made of plastic casing. "What do you wish to do, master?"

"Open a text file, computer, and apply the report template. Then prepare yourself for any additional internet queries I make." Settling into his chair, he pulled up the plastic keyboard and began to type up a report. Only half his brain was actually paying attention to what the imp was imprinting onto the suspended piece of glass in front of him; he was primarily thinking about what he had to do next.

_What a lucky find! That man's analysis of the situation was accurate and fast, and he's got experience; how did I not know about him? He's timid, but hopefully dealing with all their inquiries will toughen him up. If he cracks... well, I'll deal with that if it comes up. For now, that should slow those frantic idiots._

Masama suddenly scowled. _I can't believe them! Asking for an invasion of an unknown world just because they acted a little hostile! Worst case scenario, we never open up another portal, and that's that. Best case scenario, our study of this little pocket dimension leads to new advances in magical theory! And they want to use the wizard equivalent of a nuke as a 'preemptive strike'..._

Like most Japanese wizards, Masama payed at least passing attention to muggle developments, and nuclear weapons were something that came to mind every time 'excessive violence' came up. He wasn't afraid of them – a single wizard could use apparition to eliminate the threat of any bomb, along with a dozen other methods – but his mother had ingrained upon him the history of the Japanese nation, and that included Hiroshima.

Masama continued to write in his report, now going through and detailing all of the preparations that had been made before the portal had even been opened. _I need to convince the research board that this project still has potential. I need to distract them from the frightened, mewling cries those pathetic 'researchers' are making. I think I'll order a covert team of aurors to go in and observe the inhabitants for a bit. It doesn't matter what kind of magical mutations these people have gone through, an auror __team can be completely undetectable when it desires to; once they report back, that should calm everyone down, since we'll no longer be dealing with an unknown._

"I don't think that would be a very good idea."

Masama whipped around just as a blond woman in a purple jump suit seemed to _dissolve_ out of the wall, and began to slink over to where he was sitting. "Who are you!? What are you doing in my private quarters!? This is highly illegal-"

"Please," the woman said, smirking. "Illegal doesn't even begin to cover it. But that doesn't matter, as we're _all_ alone now. Why don't we get to know each other?"

"Know-" Masama frowned. "Are you some sort of stalker? I don't have _time_ for this nonsense right now! Leave at once, or I'll call security!"

The woman smiled seductively, and Masama couldn't take his eyes off of hers. "You'll be doing no such thing. Do you want to know why you won't be calling security?" The world seemed to waver in Masama's vision as the woman finally stopped right in front of him, and he felt his body relaxing. "Because you don't _want_ to involve security. You just want to talk to me, to get to know me better; you want to listen to what I have to say..."

Masama nodded absently. "Yes, I want to listen to what you have to say..."

"Yes..." the woman whispered into his ear, leaning over and just barely touching him with her cleavage. "I have a _wonderful _proposition for you. This base – I want you to make it empty."

"Make it... empty?" Masama blinked. "I... I can't do that. I still need to investigate that pocket dimension..."

"Oh, but you can. You can investigate a whole world, all to yourself, with no one to stop you – all you need to do is forget about Japan."

"Forget... Japan?"

"That's right, forget about it. Who needs it?" The woman caressed his head softly as she closed her eyes and concentrated. "Who needs the research board – they only get in the way. Who needs these useless scientists – they're little more than mice." The woman smirked as she found a stray thought that was _all_ too convenient. _Time to change the plan..._ "They don't deserve to be in control of the experiment – they deserve to be _in _it!"

"Inside the experiment?" This seemed to strike something in Masama's head – some long restrained desire. "Yes... they're all little lab rats. I need to find out what they can do... I need to experiment on them..."

The woman concentrated. "Yes, they need to be experimented on – they need to be tested. If they don't deserve to survive, then..."

"...then evolution has spoken!" Masama was gripping the arms of his chair excitedly. "Yes, yes! Humanity needs to be tested, to see if it deserves to live, and who better to run the experiment than me? Yes, it's perfect! But..."

"... what do you test them against? Why, you just _found_ a bunch of strange humans, humans who would be _perfect_ as a test!"

Masama nodded fervently. "Yes, they would work very well. Pit them against each other, and whoever wins is evolution's favored child. But how do I get the experiment set up?"

"Oh, that's simple." The woman petted Masama's head, and he leaned into it, trusting himself into her care. "You just leave that to me. If you get this base cleared, and help me find the right officials, I'll make sure that the strange humans are in this world. All you have to do is trust me..."

"Yes, trust you..." Masama smiled happily, totally content with her touch. "I can trust you. You'll help me, help me experiment on humanity, help me test it..."

"That's right. But now, I need to go."

The woman stood up, and Masama suddenly looked lost. "No, wait! Come back, I need you! I need you here, to help me, to guide me!"

"Sorry, pumpkin, but I need to set things up on my end." The woman smiled. "Just get this base empty of all but the anchor, and then we can move forward with the plan."

Masama looked sad, but then straightened up and recovered his normal, stern face. "Right. I'll get this report done, and then talk to the board. With my influence as head of the project, I'm sure I can do what is necessary."

"That's good, very good. I'll be back soon, to check up on your progress. You'll be done in a week, won't you, pumpkin?"

Pulling down on his lab coat violently, Masama forcibly straightened it out. "Of course! In a week, this place will be empty, and ready to be a part of the experiment!"

The woman smiled. "That's good. See you in a week then, pumpkin."

A hint of insecurity came onto Masama's face. Being called 'pumpkin' seemed to satisfy some fantasy of his, deep down, but still... "Wait! Can't I have your name?"

"Ah, of course." The woman blew Masama a kiss. "You can call me Princess, alright?"

Then she faded back into the wall.

* * *

Sakura was back in her box seat, watching part three with a bored expression. The romance had been dropped in favor of detailing Sasuke's return to prominence as a ninja, and as the father of the Uchiha clan. How he and Naruto earned the title 'Eternal Rivals' for how they seemed to attack each other as often as they attacked the enemy; how three dozen kunoichi came in the night and stole Sasuke's Uchiha genetic data on orders from the fifth Hokage; how Sasuke's work for Konoha earned him the hand of the sixth Hokage, Sakura; and how he and Naruto's efforts on the battlefield got many fatally injured ninjas back to Konoha, just barely in time for their life energy to be transferred to a puppet body using the hidden techniques that had been developed by their ally, Sand.

Most of this was explained by Shikamaru as the actors went through the appropriate motions, and if there was one thing Sakura was going to take away from this, it was that Shikamaru couldn't make public speeches to save his life. His monotone voice was absolutely horrible, and quite a few ninjas had fallen asleep in the audience. To be honest, that was making it better; Shikamaru's voice was nearly being drowned out by Anko's terrible snoring.

Ino suddenly walked back into the box seat, grinning, and Sakura turned back to her, surprised. "That was fast – absurdly so, even. Explain yourself."

"I found the perfect tool. Turns out the head of the research project has restrained delusions of grandeur."

"And?"

"Now they're not so restrained. I've convinced him to help us set up a position in this other world; he wants to test his version of humanity against ours in some sort of grand 'experiment'."

Sakura frowned. "I'm not interested in starting a war here, Ino. I just want to find a way to fix this 'enchantment' that has gripped our world."

"Well, we'll need to know more about magic to do that, right? We'll have to get ourselves into their world one way or another, and this was the perfect way to do it. Besides, it's not like I've forced our hand or anything; if this mad scientist turns out to be a problem, we'll just get rid of him once we've used him up."

"You're ruthless," Sakura said with a hint of amusement in her voice, "But, as always, you've gone above and beyond expectations."

"Damn right I have." Ino pulled out a large scroll and handed it over. "This hold copies of pretty much every important document I could find. They use magic to contain most of their information, but they kept a paper archive in the back. Also, the timeline is a week; the base the research project is using should be empty and ready for us to move into by then."

"Excellent, Ino." Sakura carefully removed several dozen sheets from the storage scroll and began reading them. "Alright. Organize a group to make a forward base; I trust you to choose the right people for the job. Also, judging by the amount of paper in this storage scroll, I'll need helpers to go through this; find me some."

Ino bowed. "I'll get right on it, Hokage-sama." Then she quirked a smile. "Going to be busy from now on, huh?"

Sakura didn't look up from scanning the paper in her hands. "Not anymore than usual. We're in the middle of a war, in case you've forgotten."

"There hasn't been any action for almost two years," Ino said dismissively.

"And if we're lucky, we'll be able to destroy the enchantment before it starts again."

Ino stopped, and seemed to be considering something. "And... if we can't destroy the enchantment?"

"Then we'll just have to... find a new home. Even if we have to take it by force."

"Hmph." Ino sauntered out. "Sounds like fun."

Sakura turned her gaze from the paper and stared at the exit Ino had left from. "War is never fun. There's nothing to gain, only things to lose – even when magic is involved."

She paused, and then she lifted the front of her shirt and stared down at her flat chest thoughtfully. "Then again... Magic, huh..."

* * *

And that is chapter 1!(version 1.1). I hope you liked it; please review!


	2. Chapter 2

Wow! I finally decided to put this up!

Don't know when the next chapter's coming out; sorry.

* * *

"Now, when considering the flight path of a projectile, there are several things to consider. First, what is your perspective of the object? Is it coming towards you, going away from you, or moving in a direction in between those two extremes? Obviously, the first and last seem like they are far more important, but remember that, as ninjas, you work on a team; intercepting projectiles aimed at others is a crucial skill."

A child in the front row, whose droopy-eyed expression belied his upright and focused behavior, raised his hand. "Misima-sensei, why is it necessary to start from the perspective? Isn't that obvious just by looking?"

Misima nodded, turning away from the blackboard. Her long black hair framed a heart-shaped face that always seemed right on the edge of turning into a full-blown manic grin – such was her love of teaching. "Good question, Kuno, and you've pretty much hit it on the spot – no pun intended. Yes, it is clear just from looking which direction the projectile is moving, but that's not all that you have to figure out in that one instant. The key is to train yourselves to pull up the right formula for the right situation. The mental calculations you must go through in the case of the first two are simple reversals, but in the third case it requires a lot of other factors. The essence of learning this is that the mathematics will replace your gut instinct, and be much more accurate – at least, as genin it will be." She frowned when several children started grumbling. "I don't want to hear anyone complaining about math. This isn't the kind of stuff Udon-sempai uses – he's a genius, and there are very few jounin who can calculate math like he can, much less use it in combat. These kinds of calculations are very simple, but you need to master them so that you can use them even when you're surprised. It's not good to say you'll just judge it by eye – we may have taught it that way a generation ago, but Udon-sempai's work on integrating mathematical formula into shinobi tactics has made the experience-weighted model obsolete, at least in part."

In the back row, sitting next to her half-brother, Miara yawned. "I hope you didn't actually expect any of us to understand that."

Sano yawned as well. "Speak for yourself, mush-for-brains. This is the basic of the basic."

Miara waved lazily, dismissing his insult. "Well, anyone but the nerd."

"I am not a _nerd,_" Sano said, disgruntled. "We're graduating in less than a week, and you don't understand stuff like this?"

Sighing, Misima tapped the chalkboard with her piece of chalk, bringing attention back to her. "Miara is right, Sano; I got carried away. I could have phrased it differently. The basic premise is this: rather than relying on experience to tell you where a shuriken is going to end up, you can use these simple – and I emphasize the word _simple,_ here – formulas to figure most of it out for you. It's not perfect, but it should make your life expectancy higher."

"Absolutely correct, Misima-sensei," a voice called out from the doorway. "We have much to thank Udon-sempai for in coming up with these variety of formula – which I'm sure you've all memorized, since the genin exam comes up in a week."

Misima bowed hastily. "Iruka-sempai! It is an honor."

Iruka, his grey hair pulled into a loose ponytail, smiled. His face bore the many aged lines that all teachers develop – especially the ones that have to send their charges into danger and watch many of them never come back. "None of that, please. I may be the head teacher here, but I'm still just a chunnin. No need for such formalities."

Miara sounded both bored and irritated, speaking from behind the feet she had planted on her desk. "Do we _really_ have to memorize all this math stuff? I'd rather just go with the experience-weighted model, myself."

Sano had looked like he had been beginning to snooze, but cracked open one eye to give his sister a curious stare. "You _did_ understand what she was saying. Do you like pretending to be stupid, or something?"

"Don't judge me, nerd. I'm not a braniac like you are."

"Ah, I see now. You like getting the attention." Sano closed his eye again. "Funny how we act more like each other's fathers than we do our own."

Iruka barked out a laugh. "Ah, if only Naruto had been pretending to be stupid!"

Miara blinked, and then looked to her brother. "You gonna let him say that about your dad?"

Sano didn't bother to open his eyes; his voice was drifting off as he really did begin to fall into a doze. "Why? It's..." he yawned, loudly, "true..."

Misima politely tried to get Iruka' attention. "Ah, Iruka-sempai, is there a reason you came here?"

Iruka gave her a hurt expression. "What, I have to have a reason to see how my cute students are doing?"

Miara gave Iruka a flat stare. "That's what Kakashi said when he was trying to justify why he was peaking in on mom while she was taking a shower."

Iruka flinched. "That, uh, wasn't exactly what I was going for there..."

Kuno raised his hand again, and Misima turned to him. "Yes, Kuno?"

"Misima-sensei, why is Kakashi such a dirty old man? Isn't he supposed to be a great ninja?"

"Ah, well, you see," Iruka said as he stepped forward, rubbing his chin sagely, "when someone experiences trauma, they deal with it in a variety of ways, and Kakashi is just-" He broke off and shook his head violently. "What am I doing, trying to defend him? It's because he's a twisted human being who's let his desires get totally out of control. Don't be like him, please."

Once again, Kuno raised his hand. "Yes, Kuno?" Misima asked, a tinge of annoyance in her voice.

"How come Kakashi can get away with stalking the Hokage like that? Shouldn't she be able to tell that he's doing it, since she's the Hokage? And even then, since everyone seems to know about it, shouldn't he be arrested, or something?"

Iruka started rubbing his temples. "Well, it's not that she isn't aware of him doing it, it's just... Look. The Hokage is a very, very complicated woman, and I don't think I know her well enough to be able to explain it to you. Just consider it one facet of the relationship she has with Kakashi."

Miara gagged. "Please don't use the word 'relationship' in the same sentence as 'Kakashi'. It makes me ill."

Kuno blinked, and looked like he was considering raising his hand again, but Misima cut him off. "Iruka-sensei, I'm sure you came here for a reason, since you're a busy person."

"Yes, well, you are correct. I did come here for a reason." Iruka pulled out a sheaf of paper. "A new, previously unknown ninjutsu talent has been discovered, and the Hokage wants you all to be tested. However, the test is slightly invasive; I need you all to take these waivers to your parent or guardian and have them read and sign them. For those of you without guardians, please read it and sign it yourself."

Iruka began passing out the pieces of paper, but when he came to Miara and Sano, only Sano was handed one, which made Miara frown in irritation. "How come he gets one and I don't? That's not fair!"

Sano glanced over the paper with one eye open, still half-asleep. "Couldn't have phrased that to sound any less mature, could you?" he mumbled sarcastically.

"As the Hokage is your mother," Iruka rattled off, his tone indicating that he had explained this at least a dozen times before, "she is also your guardian. Sano, however, has only one legal guardian: Naruto."

"But-"

"Drop it, idiot." Sano looked irritated that Miara had forced him to fully wake up. "You know full well what he's talking about, so just drop it before you cause some serious trouble."

Miara glared at him, but crossed her arms and remained silent.

Iruka nodded, and turned back to the rest of the class. "Right. This is important, so no one forget to give your parents those waivers. Testing will begin tomorrow after school. Unfortunately, I can't elaborate on what the test is, but I can tell you that it won't hurt."

The bell rang, and the students began to pack up their textbooks. Misima spoke loudly and clearly, trying to catch everyone's attention. "Alright, everyone. Tomorrow we'll practice putting these formulas into action, so be sure to review them all! Mathematics is a vital element of the genin test, so don't think you can pass without getting at least fifty percent of these formulas right!"

"Yes, sensei," all the students called out absently – except for Miara, who brushed past Iruka, still looking irritated.

"Touchy about her mother, isn't she?" Misima said, her tone a little worried.

"She's close to Sano, and doesn't like being singled out without him being there with her." Iruka smiled. "It's a positive thing – in the end, she'll work hard to be as competent a ninja as he's going to be. It's funny; the children of those two are pretty much doing exactly what their parents did, only in reverse, and with a lot more love between them."

"Well, as long as it drives her to actually remember those formulas for tomorrow, I have no complaints." Misima started packing up her teaching materials as well – there were a lot, since she had discovered rather quickly that her natural love of formula didn't extend to her students, and a variety of methods for catching their interest were required. "So, what is this test?"

"Sorry, but I can't tell you either."

Misima froze. "You can't tell me? I'm their teacher!" She put her hands on her hips and stared down at her slightly shorter superior. "I'm not going to let my students-"

"Unfortunately," Iruka said sadly, cutting her off, "you don't have a say in this. I'm sorry, but this is a direct order from the council, not to mention the Hokage. Those waivers were just a formality – to let the students know they're being tested. I didn't want to just spring the test on the children tomorrow; that would scare them, suddenly being forced into a strange invasive test like that, and that's the last thing I want. And if I just told them there was a test tomorrow, many would ask why they didn't have to get permission from their parents." He sighed. "I don't like it either, but believe me when I say it's necessary."

Misima gripped the handle of her bag tightly, and then shoved the remaining teaching materials on her desk into it roughly. "I'll cooperate – but don't think I'm about to forgive you."

Iruka looked at her, a sad and tired expression on his face, as she stormed out of the classroom. "If only you knew..."

* * *

Sakura stared at the paper in front of her, her eyes half closed and drool starting to slip out of her mouth. Her head was propped up on one hand, and her pen was being tapped against the table with the other, at a slower and slower pace as she continued to drift off. Ino would have laughed at how dumb she looked, but it had stopped being so funny when Sakura put on the same expression when she looked over Ino's mission reports ('Oh, I'm sorry. That was a S rank mission? I totally forgot and gave you a B rank mission's payment! Well, better luck next time.').

Ino suddenly look surprised for a moment, and then smirked as she quietly walked outside of the office to stand guard there. As soon the door had closed, Sakura felt a hand gently grip her shoulder and shake her slightly, and she turned around to see Naruto grinning at her. "You look like you're having fun," he said.

Sakura smiled and pulled his head down so she could give him a quick kiss. "You're welcome to take the job, if you want."

"Please. We both know Sasuke would never let me do that – unless you couldn't do the job anymore. If that happened, I'd let him become the Hokage, so you could rest easy."

"Every time to you say that, it amazes how you can think it's reassuring – and it amazes me even more how reassuring it actually is. I never thought I'd be considering my own death as something minor compared to what would happen to the people around me after I was gone. Before I was made Hokage, I don't think I really understand the meaning of the word 'duty'. You, Sasuke; everyone I knew would continue on living just fine if I died. Now, though, my greatest worry is making sure everyone _but _me is alright." Sakura sighed. "Not to mention these other 'duties'. A week afterwards, and I'm _still _not through all these files. Ino must have packed a literal ton of paper into that scroll."

Naruto frowned. "Didn't you have some help in here the other day?"

"Yeah, but she had to leave to take care of some business, so I'm stuck here doing it on my own. Almost done, though; all that's left is what's in front of me. Should have a good idea of what to do next once I'm done with this junk."

"That's good," Naruto said, smiling. "I can't think of anyone I'd rather make my decisions for me than you."

"That's what you said when I was nominated to be Hokage over you."

"And it's more true now than it was then. You're a good Hokage, Sakura; better than I ever would have been. You decide what needs to be done, and I do it for you; I can't think of a better system. Certainly, it would be far worse if _I _was telling _you_ what to do."

"You make it sound like you're the only ninja this village needs," Sakura said teasingly.

Naruto barked out a laugh. "Hah! If Sasuke wasn't around to get in my way, that'd be true! I'd finally get a title that wasn't about my relationship with the bastard. 'Eternal Rivals!' Do you know how irritating it is to be known for how your teammate always interferes with your work?"

"I _was_ your teammate, you know."

Naruto flinched, and turned his secret weapon on her: the Big Blue Puppy Eyes. "That hurts! I was a great teammate! How could you say such things to me!?" A tear trickled down his face.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "I'm only joking, you big baby."

Naruto gave her a disgruntled look, but then seemed to remember something. "That's right! Sano told me that Kakashi's been stalking you lately, the pervert! Want me to teach him a lesson?"

"I'm perfectly capable of handling a stalker on my own, Naruto. I _am_ the Hokage."

Naruto frowned. "Then... why don't you?"

"Because it's more complex than that."

"He's stalking you – what else is there to know?"

Sakura looked away. "My relationship with Kakashi is none of your business."

Naruto flinched. "Please, don't use the word 'relationship' and 'Kakashi' in the same sentence. It makes me wanna hurl."

"Naruto, you should have stopped expecting me to be monogamous a long time ago."

"But, he's like, fifty!"

"And he's no less handsome now than he was when we were genin. Age only makes some people better. And being a stalker is just part of being Kakashi – I got used to him being a pervert a long time ago."

Naruto suddenly averted his gaze. "I see. So you like older guys, huh?"

Sakura turned a worried expression towards him, and lightly placed a hand on his arm. "Oh, Naruto, I didn't mean it like that. I love you for your personality more than anything else."

Naruto only sniffed.

"Ok, fine. So I appreciate your eternally young body, too. But don't tell anyone, alright?"

Looking slightly appeased, Naruto sat down on the desk, slightly crumpling a piece of paper in the process. "It's not like I asked for this body, you know."

"I know, Naruto, I know: a side effect of the Kyuubi's chakra that stuck around, even past its death. I know it makes the civilians even more afraid of you, but honestly, who cares what they think? All the ninjas know what kind of person you are – there isn't a single one who wouldn't hesitate to defend your name!"

"I can think of a couple," Naruto said darkly, but with a hint of mirth that proved he knew that those couple weren't doing it because they thought he was a monster. His expression softened after a moment, and he smiled at Sakura. "But that's not important. I decided to protect Konoha when I was a kid, and that resolution hasn't changed yet – even _if_ I have to live inside a tree house in the Forest of Death."

Sakura smiled back. "I'm glad. To be honest, sometimes I don't understand how you can be so optimistic, but that's part of what I love about you, so I hope you never change. Oh!" Suddenly remembering something, Sakura went digging through the papers layered over her desk. Finding what she was looking for, she scanned it quickly before finding the part she was looking for. "The council has approved of my plan to re-appropriate part of the Uchiha compound into a small mini-village for ninja that civilians have no love for. It's still going to be years before it's done, but it's a step forward!"

Naruto didn't look as happy about this as Sakura had been hoping he would; he stared out the window, a wistful expression on his face. "You know, this whole 'new world' thing sounds interesting. Any chance of me getting a position in that forward base?"

"Not anytime soon." Sakura turned back to the paper in front of her, sad and disappointed despite herself. "I need you here, in case the war starts up again. Sasuke, too."

Sighing, Naruto got up again and wandered around the office, idly looking at the paintings and pictures that were scattered around the walls before returning to Sakura. He places his hands on her shoulders and began massaging, and she relaxed in her chair. "So, who _will_ be going? Anyone I know?"

"Probably. Ino's still compiling an exact list, but there's a good chance at least two or three members of the Rookie Nine will be on there."

Wrinkling his brow, Naruto looked bewildered. "Why are we still called that? Aren't we a little past 'rookie' at this point?"

Sakura smiled. "I heard someone say a while ago that we were called rookies when we were genin because that's what we were, but now, we're called that because we make everyone _else _look like rookies."

"Hmm. I like that," Naruto nodded. "Yeah, I like that. So, anyone else? It's not like I only know the Rookie Nine- er, Eleven- Whatever. I'm calling them the Rookie Nine."

"Well," Sakura began, and then tensed up again. "...We'll need at least one genin team in there, probably two. Who exactly will be determined after the tests."

"You mean the genin exams?"

"No, I mean the magic tests. Apparently, magical ability is an inborn thing, so Marcus will be testing the children to see if they have the aptitude for it."

"Why just the children?" Naruto stopped massaging. "I don't like the sound of this."

"It's because we need to get some moles inside magic society, and as far as moles go, Ino's influence over people is easily broken unless she gets them isolated from other people. When they have other people to talk to, they start to realize how strange they're acting, and Ino can't prevent them from breaking her hold."

Sakura sighed as she once again put aside the paper she was _supposed_ to be reading."So we need our own people in there, but the 'wizarding world,' as it's called, has protected itself from infiltration for centuries – we're not getting in there with adult people, even if they learn enough magic to blend in beforehand. Masters of infiltration we may be, but we can't work miracles – not against miracle-workers. However, these wizards don't view children as threats – get some genins in there now, and not only will they be taught everything about magic we could ever desire, but they'll be able to get information and make contacts without coercing anyone to their will using genjutsu, which it seems is something wizards regularly protect themselves against."

"I was right. I don't like the sound of this." Naruto walked around the desk and looked Sakura in the eye – proof that he was facing her now, not as a lover, but as a ninja. "There has to be a better idea than risking genins in delicate operations like this, there just _has_ to be!"

"Don't think I haven't thought this out!" Sakura snapped. "I'm not a fool, Naruto; if there was a better path to take, I'd take it in an instant, but there isn't. We need solid infiltration on as massive a scale as possible, and the best way to do that is to get people on the inside – and a bunch of teenagers have dozens of excuses for acting strange and snooping around. The bottom line is this: We need moles, and they have to be children. I'm confident that this is the right decision."

"Then why are you acting so guilty!?" Naruto slammed his hands down on the desk. "I can already tell what the problem is. Sano or Miara have the aptitude for magic, don't they?"

Sakura gripped her fist tightly. "They both do. I was tested this morning, and apparently I have enough aptitude for there to be a ninety-five percent chance for them to have it too."

Naruto was silent for a moment. "I see." He stood up, towering over Sakura. "I see. You know you can't have differing standards, Sakura."

"Damnit, why not!?" Sakura pounded on her desk, which was specially reinforced to withstand the damage. "I'm their mother – isn't it my prerogative to look out for them!?"

"Maybe so, but they'll be fine."

"Fine? They're both thirteen!"

"So what?" Naruto said coldly, making Sakura pause. "Sano's a lot smarter than me, and he has my chakra – not as much as growing up with the Kyuubi gave me, but still a massive quantity for a genin. Miara's going to awaken her Sharingan sooner or later, and she's damn determined – and a lot smarter than she acts. They're both excellent ninja – I am one hundred percent confident that they'll surpass us someday."

Sakura stayed still, and then put a hand to her forehead. "They're just kids, Naruto, and this is dangerous! What if they die? I don't think I could handle that."

"They won't die. They're good ninja, and we'll give them a good jounin leader." Naruto leaned over and hugged her tightly. "Trust in them. In a week, they'll be your ninja, and as Hokage you have to trust them to do the jobs you assign them."

"If they pass the test..." Sakura said, her voice muffled from her head being buried in Naruto's chest.

"They'll pass, don't worry. Sano's got everything down pat, just like Sasuke did, and Miara's been working hard and will definitely pass, unlike me."

"I don't get it." Sakura was hugging back now, taking comfort in Naruto's solid body. "Why do they seem to take all their personality from the person who isn't their father?"

"Who knows?" Naruto smiled fondly and petted Sakura's hair. "Seems to me like they got the best parts of everyone involved – probably a result of you being their mother."

"You're sweet," Sakura said, sighing as she gently pushed Naruto away, "and I wish I could spend more time with you, but I have to get this done. I'll meet you for our date later tonight."

"I have a great plan for tonight, so look forward to it!" Naruto waved as he walked away, leaving Sakura to, once again, turn back to her paper work.

"I will!"

Naruto hummed happily as he went through the door. As soon as he had entered the waiting room, though, he stiffened. "Sasuke. What are you doing?"

Sasuke returned Naruto's outraged look with a grimace. "Being harassed. Help me rip this leech off me."

Ino pouted. "Don't say that, Sasuke! I'm not a leech – at least, not one that sucks blood."

Naruto grimaced. "Oh, god, that was terrible!"

"My, whatever are you talking about? I was referring to how I suck out your money."

"I don't care, just get _off_ me!" Sasuke got fed up and used a little taijutsu to force Ino to let go. She cried out and pretended to nurse her wrist, making Naruto step over, concern on his face, but Sasuke ignored her – he knew exactly how much strength he had used, and it wasn't enough to hurt her. Besides, Ino seemed to have fun doing this every time she ran into Sasuke – it was all a game to her, pretending that she was still a fan-girl. She knew exactly how badly it annoyed Sasuke. "Naruto. What were you doing in my wife's office?"

When he saw that Ino wasn't actually hurt, Naruto scowled, realizing he'd been duped by her once again. _Why don't I ever _learn!? "Showing her how awesome it is to have me around. Why? You got a problem with that, Grandpa?"

Sasuke ground his teeth, but then paused. "Speaking of the elderly...

"...I know one that deserves a beating. Yeah, Sano told me about Kakashi. Sakura said to leave him alone, but I'm not about to let this one go."

Sasuke had a strange combination of distaste, confusion, and attraction on his face. "We've fallen in love with quite the woman, you know. I think she likes being stared at by him."

"It's a kind of compliment," Ino said offhandedly. "He's basically saying, 'you're beautiful, and I enjoy looking at you.' Not that a normal woman would think of it so positively, but Sakura hasn't ever been normal. I don't think she'd let him touch her, but I also think that she has more feelings for that man than she admits to having. He's _quite_ the looker, you know."

Naruto growled. "Well, I don't care. He's stalking the wrong person. Sasuke I can stand, but not that pervert!"

"Looks like we agree," Sasuke said coldly. "I don't trust you with much, but Sakura is one of those few things. Shall we get going?"

Ino stared as the two disappeared from view, leaving out the window, before opening the door to Sakura's office and called inside. "Sakura, your husband and your boytoy are about to go teach Kakashi a lesson."

There was a slamming sound, and then Sakura strode out of the office. "Those idiots!" She hissed, seething. "I told them not to-"

"If you don't hurry, you're going to lose yourself an admirer. They sounded pissed."

Swearing vehemently, Sakura left out the window as well, and Ino took out a little pocket book. "Let's see, Kakashi should be around here at this time of day..." Replacing it somewhere in her tight purple jumpsuit, Ino smiled. "This is going to be fun! Inciting those three _never_ gets old!"

* * *

Asa walked into the Hyuuga household quietly, trying to cause as little disturbance as possible. Her shoulder length black hair and light frame gave her the same profile as any thirteen year old Hyuga, but the air of silence that followed her around was hers and hers alone. Her face was quiet, and only changed when her stubborn streak reared its head. Like her mother she disliked interacting with others, but Asa' disposition came from an aversion to expressing herself, rather than a feeling of inferiority. She winced every time a guard examined her, but their lips only quirked slightly, humored at what had become typical teenage Hyuga behavior. This was her house, though, so she was able to find her destination quickly despite her hesitation. "Mother, I have a waiver from school that you must sign."

Hinata sighed, putting down the report she had been looking at and adjusting her simple white kimono. Her silky black hair was arranged in a single tight bun behind her head, and was held in place with simple gemstone pin that, while small and unassuming, was of master craftsmanship. "The waiver? Give it here." Hinata glanced over it quickly, confirming that it was what she had been informed it would be before quickly but perfectly signing her name at the bottom. "There. Turn it in to your teacher tomorrow."

Asa held the paper in front of her, staring at it for a second before returning her gaze to her mother. "Uh, I, uh, don't mean to oppose your judgment, but shouldn't you have, um, looked over it more carefully before signing it..?"

_I didn't need to because all the parents were informed beforehand, but I can't tell you that. _"I am the clan head, Asa. I get forewarning of these sorts of things. More importantly, shouldn't you be practicing for the genin exams? It would reflect poorly on the clan if you did not pass."

Hastily bowing, Asa backed out of the room. "Of-of course, mother! At once!" Once she was out of direct out of sight, she nearly sprinted towards the Hyuuga training grounds.

Hinata sighed. _Ironic that, in my passion to get rid of the Caged Bird Seal, I end up acting __towards my child the same way that my father did._ "When did father's unbending expectations become my own?"

There was a shuffle as someone announced their intention to enter the room, and Hinata glared as her sister walked in. "It's hilarious, isn't it?" Hanabi said dryly. She was still wearing the jounin clothes she'd used on the week long mission she'd just returned from; they were torn, and splattered with both mud and blood. Over the years the two sisters had developed similar profiles – they had the same hard faces, the same silky black hair, and the same curvy figures. Hinata took more effort making those features stand out, but Hanabi had gained a sort of feral beauty that drove away most males. "You, the wilting wallflower, ends up handling the clan the same way father did – with an iron will and a sharp tongue. Good clan leader, but bad parent, the both of you."

"I ended up this way because of you, Hanabi. Do not jest on the matter."

"I am perfectly aware of your motivation, sister dear; I still have _plenty_ of scars from that beating you gave me. I've never been closer to death – not even when they were considering me for transfer to a puppet body."

"Trying to make me feel guilty will not work, Hanabi." Hinata gave her sister a glare that barely tried to hide the arrogant superiority that emanated from her. "I became aware of what was necessary on that day, and realized I needed to do whatever it took to make that necessity become a reality. Even if I have become a poor parent, it is for the sake of the clan."

"For the sake of the clan. Right." Hanabi looked disgusted. "If it wasn't for the clan, Neji would still be alive."

Hinata's eyes widened, and several guards sprinted towards the room as her killer intent leaked out. "Neji's death is _entirely _your fault, sister – I will not let you pretend to dodge responsibility on this matter."

Hinata's voice was quiet, but Hanabi found herself retreating a step towards the door nonetheless. "Maybe so!" Realizing her voice was a little too loud, Hanabi instantly regained her poise. "Maybe so. But if the Caged Bird Seal didn't exist, he would never have died. We both agree on this."

"Which is why I have taken constructive action to replace that seal. You, on the other hand, have done nothing but drown yourself in missions." Hinata waved away the guards as they made their presence known, and turned to the stack of papers at her side, her killer intent fading away. "Do you have something to say, sister, other than commenting on how I handle my child? If you do not, I have work to do."

Hanabi paused for a second, and then looked away. "I'm on the team."

Hinata paused, and then continued her perusal of the documents. "Is that so. You will do you clan proud." It was less of a statement and more of an order – one that Hanabi had received from their father many, many times before. It was unnerving, how similar father and daughter had become.

"If Asa is on one of the genin teams," Hanabi said, very – _very_ – carefully, "I'll look out for her."

"I appreciate your concern," Hinata said witheringly, "but my daughter is the heir of the clan, and is fully capable of looking out for herself."

"You sure don't act like that."

This time Hinata paused long enough to stare her sister in the eye. "That is because she has much room for improvement. Rather than sheltering her, make sure she continues to improve herself."

Hanabi pinched the bridge of her nose. "A command for me to help her. You don't misspeak, sister; you already knew that she's got potential, huh?"

Hinata was coldly silent for a second. "As you found out this morning, you have the potential; I do as well. It is unlikely that she won't as well."

"You're one cold bitch, you know?"

"I already told you; if you have nothing more than criticisms of my parenting, please leave. I have work to do."

"I think I will." Hanabi have her sister one last dirty look before stepping out the door. Then she disappeared.

Hinata dropped the cold facade, letting the anger she had been restraining come out, mixed with the sad exhaustion that seemed to seep into everything she thought and did. _I don't want to be this way, but I have no choice. How did you stand it, father? The loneliness... _She gripped the paper in her hands tightly, causing it to wrinkle. _I want to be there for my child so badly, but I can't. The Hyuuga aren't ready for that kind of soft way of living, not yet. I wonder if we'll ever be ready for it – if we'll ever fully integrate into Konoha's Will of Fire._

For one moment longer, Hinata let the overflow out, and found herself smiling as her guards subtly adjusted their pattern to prevent anyone from coming close enough to sense her distress. Then she sat up straight, smoothed out her kimono, and returned to work.

* * *

As she made her way up the garden path, Harami carefully listened for any sounds of disturbance from inside her home. Like her mother, she had naturally frizzy brown hair that had to be tied up into a pair of buns on the side of her head, and like her father, she had a large face that made her facial expressions seem exaggerated. She was pretty aggressive, too, and that was something she sometimes wished she hadn't inherited. Her parents were fond of fighting, and had a habit of dragging others into their verbal spars, including their own daughter. This time she heard no yelling, though, so she approached the house.

As she opened the door she realized, to her own dismay, that she had been tricked. Her parents _were_ in the middle of a fight, one which had escalated to trying to immaturely shut each other up by shoving something into each other's mouths; for her mother, that was a hand, while her father was using a bundle of thin wire. "I'm home," Harami said despondently, knowing what was coming next.

Both immediately stopped their efforts to silence the other and raced over to their child. "Harami," her mother, Tenten, said fervently, her hands having reached Harami's shoulders first, "what would you say if your first mission as a genin was a long term assignment?"

"Long term?" Harami blinked, and then smiled. "You mean, I could get away from home? For how long!?"

"Several years," Tenten deadpanned.

"Several years? Several _years!? _Is this a dream? Are you serious? I could get away from you two for several _years?_ Hell _yeah_! Sign me up!"

Kankuro wailed loudly. "Noooo! You can't mean that, Hari-chan, you just can't! You're not even eighteen yet – you can't make adult decisions!"

Tenten turned towards her husband. "Get a grip! Genin's are legal adults – she has every right to make this decision!"

Ignoring her, Kankuro clasped his hands and turned to his daughter, eyes watering and lips quivering. "Haru-tan, please say you don't mean it! You can't leave, Rami-twan – I still have so much to teach you before you're even remotely ready to go out and be a ninja! I haven't even finished your puppet protection squad yet!"

Harami glowered at her father. "You've been making that 'puppet protection squad' for the last thirteen years, and you'll be making it for the next thirteen too! I'm not waiting around for that to happen! And stop calling me something different every time you say my name!"

"But, Hami-pan-"

"Stop! _Stop!_ You just called me a type of bread! That's enough!"

"Dear..." A vein was twitching on Tenten's forehead. "If you don't stop this nonsense, you're not getting any sex for a month."

"Hah!" Harami gave her father a triumphant grin. "You hear that? Stop buggin' me, or no sex for you!"

"Noooo! My daughter used the 'S' word! What kind of education have they been giving you!?"

Harami blinked, confused despite knowing what her father was like. "Uh, well, I skipped on the intensive course but I _did_ go through the basic and advanced seduction courses. It's kinda required to graduate."

Kankuro began hyperventilating. "What is the world coming to, that my daughter must be forced to learn of such dirty things! Her purity is gone, destroyed, incinerated, disintegrated, _devoured!_ I bet it was that shameless Kakashi that was behind this!"

"Actually, the one who taught us was Anko-"

Letting out a horrified scream, Kankuro sank to his knees. "Anko! That succubus has gotten her claws into my child! Soon she'll be wearing fishnet shirts and foregoing bras and chastity belts-"

"You never actually got me to wear one of those, dad." When Tenten glanced at her, concerned, Harami stuck out her tongue. "The chastity belt, not the bras. I'm not stupid."

"-And then she'll be going to parties and having sex with boys, and it all goes downhill from there!" Kankuro got to his feet, a gleam in his eyes. "I know what I must do. Puppet Brigade!"

Shikamaru stuck his head out of a doorway and looked to Tenten, who shook her head. "Whatever it is, do it yourself." Then he went back inside his room.

"Traitors, the lot of you!" Kankuro was foaming at the mouth now; as he whipped his head back and forth, looking for his normal puppets, froth and spittle were splattered onto the walls.

Tenten wiped off a bit of saliva that had landed on her cheek with a shiver of disgust, and then picked up a chair and shattered it over her husband's head. Kankuro fell like a stone, unconscious.

"Well," she said, nodding to herself, "now that that's over, you should be studying. Dinno is in his room doing the same thing, so you should go work together. Don't want to fail the exams, now. If you don't make genin, you're not going anywhere."

Harami straightened. "That's right! Now I _have_ to pass, no matter what!" She sprinted down the hallway, turning left once and passing many doors before she got to the small condo where Dinno's family lived. Knocking on the door, she only had to wait for a few seconds before Kiba opened the door.

"Well, if it isn't Harami. Want to study together with Dinno, I suppose?" Kiba's mouth quirked into a smile, the edges of a wooden framework showing from beneath his skin. As a puppet, the only way he could age was if his body was deliberately modified that way, and Kiba had taken efforts to look about thirty, but hadn't bothered to update himself to look his actual age: thirty seven.

Nodding eagerly, Harami could barely contain her excitement. "That's right! If I get genin, I'm gonna go on a long-term mission, so I just _have_ to pass! He's here, right? Dinno, that is."

"Yes, he is. You can work with him at the table. Mathematics, right?" Kiba turned around and called into the apartment. "Shino dear, did we have to do anything like that when we were students? I never paid attention in class so I wouldn't know."

Shino stepped out of the kitchen wearing a pink frilly apron. He was not a puppet, and thus had aged a little more than Kiba, but he had developed a thick frame thanks to the work his insects had done on him over the years. "No, we did not. However, I have always used similar calculations – or rather, my insect companions did them for me. Their hive mind is more suited to such things."

Kiba sniffed. "So I suppose you can't give the children any advice. Honestly, dear, you rely on those things far too much. You should get a proper animal companion, like Akamaru."

Akamaru raised his head from off the floor, looking at Kiba crossly. Kankuro wasn't as skilled at non-human bodies, so Akamaru looked a little boxy underneath the fur in places; he had forgone updating his body, so he still looked twenty one. "The both of you rely on us too much. Imagine what would happen if we weren't around?"

"We'd be fine," Kiba said, looking annoyed himself. "I'm not nearly as weak as you think I am. I just have to be properly motivated."

"So, now that you're no longer acting ultra-macho to convince yourself that you're heterosexual, you can't summon up the will to really fight?" Akamaru put his head back on the floor, depressed. "I liked you better when you were in the closet."

"Hah! You're my partner for a reason, Akamaru. Don't pretend that you haven't gone after your share of males; I don't buy that 'they smelled like females' crap."

"That's a lie! A vicious lie!" A panicked look on his face, Akamaru turned to Dinno, who was working at the table. "Don't believe what he's saying, boy! I'm the very _gold standard _of heterosexuality!"

Dinno sighed, not looking up from his papers. His long blond hair had been tied into a ponytail that snaked its way down his back, nearly touching the seat of his chair. He wasn't wearing his overly-large jacket, so Harami could just barely see the few holes his insects had buried into his torso through the thin tank top he was wearing; they were the only feature that tied him to his adoptive parents. He put one of his hands on the head of Karakuri, his cat, and began to lightly scratch her behind the ears, making sure not to rub her own burrow holes. "Please don't get me involved in this."

"Yeah!" Harami walked inside – Kiba smiling slightly as he got out of her way and closed the door – and proceeded to shake a finger in Akamaru's face. "Dinno has enough problems as it is, you know! You shouldn't be adding your sexual insecurity on top of them!"

Akamaru started blustering, awkwardly backing away from Harami's finger. "I- I'm not sexually insecure! I'm not! That's Kiba over there, mating with someone he can't have children with!"

"Kiba's a freakin' _puppet._ If he mated with a _tree_, there wouldn't be anything wrong with it; what does it matter if he plays catcher and Shino plays pitcher?"

Kiba frowned. "Now, Harami, I can tolerate a lot of things, but comments about trees are-"

The door slammed open, and Kankuro stood there, breathing heavily. "Hey, Kiba," he said, still catching his breath. "Know any good trees?"

Blinking, Kiba seemed caught off guard. "What?"

"Good trees." Kankuro seemed confused that his intentions weren't getting across. "Tenten's refusing to have sex with me for a month, and my hand's gonna be sore from building puppets, so I need an alternative. So, do you know any good trees? Don't worry about splinters; I've been making puppets my whole life, there are ways around that."

Giving Kankuro a crazed look, Kiba seemed to be seriously contemplating slamming the door in his face."Why would I know any 'good trees'!? What the hell do you think I'm married to Shino for!?"

"Don't give me that." Kankuro shook his head contemptuously. "Everyone knows that Shino has so many holes in him that a man wouldn't know where to stick it."

"Augh! No, the imagery!" Harami tightly gripped her head in her hands. "No, I can't get it out of my head! Damn you, dad! Damn you! Shino, are you going- Shino! Why are you blushing!?"

"Harami? Harami!" Kankuro slapped a hand over his mouth, horrified. "Oh, no, I've corrupted her even farther! What have I done!?"

"Kankuro," Kiba said, anger radiating from his voice, "if you don't leave, right now, I'm going to slug you."

"Not now, tree hugger, I've got Harami to-"

There was a resounding thud as Kiba's arm slammed into Kankuro's face, and then a crash as Kankuro went flying into the hallway across from the door. Tenten, appearing from down the hallway, peeked inside the room, turned her head to Kankuro's unconscious form, and then nodded. "Good job, Kiba. Shino and I can always rely on your beastly vigor."

"No, it won't go away! Why!? Why must I suffer so! Wait, Shino, you're blushing even harder; what's wrong with you!?" Harami squirmed in horror for a minute longer, and then abruptly sat down at the table with a sigh. "Well, that's another scar on my mind to attribute to my dad. Let's get to work, Dinno."

Dinno blinked. "Scar? What are you talking about?"

"Clueless as always, huh?" Harami smiled, blushing slightly at the same time. "Well, let's get to work, clueless."

* * *

Leaping from one roof to the next, Sakura made good time as she headed towards where she had agreed to meet Naruto. It was just after seven o'clock; it was getting cool, but comfortably so when compared to the broiling heat of the day, and her tight dress (commonly called a 'kunoichi skirt' because it was suitable to fight in) made sure she stayed warm. When it was possible, she liked to have a date with Naruto at least once a week. To the civilians, it was just two teammates hanging out – or at least, that's what it was supposed to be. To be honest, she wasn't sure if that was fooling them anymore, but no one seemed to be complaining. Ever since the ninja community had united itself in defending Naruto against defamation, civilians had toned down their verbal assaults against Naruto. The refusals of service had become nearly universal, but she and Naruto just went to ninja restaurants – not a huge inconvenience.

When she finally stopped, it was on the roof of Naruto's apartment. It was only a little bigger than his old one, having just enough space for two people. He'd been amazingly stubborn when Sakura had told him he needed to have a bigger apartment if he was going to raise a child; the frugal way of living he'd picked up from being an orphan drove him to find the cheapest, smallest, dirtiest, _smelliest_ place that was available ("It just needs a little love, Sakura – and who better to do that than me?").

By now Naruto had renovated the place quite well, cleaning up the whole building and repairing the utilities when the superintendent refused to do it himself, but it was still small, and when the dates were over with and she and Naruto needed a place to be private in, more often than not they went to a love hotel. Not exactly her image of a romantic night, but Naruto was dense to begin with, and only managed to be charming by accident or through the long process of trial and error.

Naruto was waiting on the roof, a wide grin on his face. "You made it!"

"Of course I did. Since when am I late?"

Naruto stared upward for a moment, pondering the question, and then snapped his fingers. "About a year ago, right before you convinced me that Ichiraku's wasn't ideal date material. I remember it distinctly – you tried to use one of Kakashi's lame excuses."

"Ah, right. That." Sakura rolled her eyes. "I wasn't 'late,' I just had problems deciding if I wanted to go through another night of ramen."

"I know, I know. Everybody but me and Chouji has problems understanding the delicious appeal of ramen. That's just something I have to deal with – 'a wise man does not thrust his wisdom onto others, but lets them come to the table willingly.'"

Sakura smiled slightly. "Where did that come from?"

"I've been reading lately."

"Reading? Since when do you have books?"

"Since my son started buying so many of them that they're all over the house. It's become easier to just pick up a book than try and find the TV remote." Naruto shook his head. "But that's not important. Come on; we've got places to be."

Grabbing her hand, he pulled her to the edge of the roof and motioned for her to follow before leaping to the next roof. Sakura followed, but with a sigh. Generally, she liked it much better when they didn't act like ninja on their dates (aside from when they snuck into the love hotel. Couldn't let civilians see stuff like _that. _Or technically other ninja, but that was pretty much just a formality, and at the point in the night she wasn't really caring about formalities).

To her surprise, Naruto ended up leading her into one of the training grounds, and they switched from leaping on roofs to jumping from branch to branch. "Naruto, please tell me you're not thinking that an evening spar is your idea of a date."

"Of course not," he replied quickly, sounding slightly insulted.

"Then, where are we going into training grounds for? This one is fairly generic; only genins spend their time training here."

Naruto stopped suddenly, and as Sakura flew into him he gently caught her and placed a finger on her lips. "Shh," he whispered. "We don't want to be detected."

Sakura frowned at him, but then looked into the clearing they tree they were in was situated next to. She couldn't help but smile when she saw both of her children throwing kunai at each other. "Aww, they're practicing for the genin exams. I thought Miara stopped asking Sano for help a long time ago."

Naruto smirked. "So, you're okay with them throwing knives at each other?"

"What? Of course I am." Sakura looked at him, confused. "They're _ninja_. If I..."

"That's right – they're ninja. You _know_ they good ones, too, or you would be worried that one of them would get hit by the other's kunais. On top of that, Miara is willing to do what it takes to be a good ninja, even if it involves asking Sano for help – and Sano is willing to help her, even if it slows him down. As long as they're together, they'll be fine."

Sakura sat down on the branch and pulled Naruto down with her. She leaned into him, and they both sat there, watching the children practice. "Thank you, Naruto. I guess I was panicking a little."

"It's okay. It's your perogative as a mother to panic. I'm here to tell you when your panicking is unnecessary, that's all."

"You do a lot more than that." Sakura tenderly kissed him on the cheek. "You've been a damn good parent to Sano, and a good uncle to Miara as well. With you and Sasuke working together to raise them, I've got no worries." She turned back to the children, missing (or ignoring) Naruto's irritated look at the mention of Sasuke. "What are they practicing, now?"

"The mathematic junk that Udon thought up some years back. Never understood it, myself, but apparently it's part of the genin exam now."

"Oh, that." Sakura chuckled and ruffled Naruto's hair. "It makes it easier to know where a kunai's going to go – you don't have to rely so much on experience. You may have an abundance of it, but most genins do not, so I allowed it to be considered necessary knowledge for genins. It should make them live a bit longer."

"Well, whatever you think is best." Naruto pulled her closer with one arm.

"Of course. I'm your Hokage." She pulled Naruto closer as well, but relented when he winced. "What's wrong?"

Naruto looked at her guiltly. "I'm still, uh, a little sore from the pounding you gave me earlier."

"Oh, that." Sakura resumed pulling him in close, this time ignoring the grunt of pain he gave. "It's your fault for going off on that silly crusade of yours. You'll heal sooner or later, however that works with the Kyuubi gone." She gave him a questioning glance.

Naruto was silent for a moment. "I'm sorry. I know you're curious, but I'm just not comfortable enough to talk about it. It's a burden I have to bear on my own."

Sakura smiled. "Don't worry about it. I trust you – you'd never do anything to hurt Konoha. You can talk about it whenever you feel like it, or never – but I'll always be there to listen."

"Thanks, Sakura." Naruto smiled. "That's the Hokage I've come to rely on."

The two sat and watched as Sano and Miara continued to trade kunais, each time trying to dodge by the smallest amount possible. Even after night fell and the two went home to rest for the next day of classes, Sakura and Naruto stayed in the tree, comfortable with each other's presence.

* * *

Predictably, Hanabi found that she couldn't sleep. She knew it'd been a bad idea to see her sister, but she felt that she had to deliver the news of her assignment personally. Every time she spoke to her sister, though, it always turned into a hateful exchange as someone brought up Neji – just like it had today. Hanabi hated thinking of Neji – it gave her nightmares, reliving that incident, and made the scars Hinata had given her ache – but she still ended up being the one to bring the subject up more than two thirds of the time. She didn't really understand it, but there was a feeling of desperate fear in there somewhere – that if she ever forgot Neji, stopped punishing herself for it, she really _would _become a monster.

Wandering the Hyuga halls late into the night, she was attracted by the sound of someone training. Unsurprisingly, it turned out to be Asa, throwing Kunai into the log poles that dotted the training ground. Hanabi smiled sadly; the girls' aim was almost perfect, but there was a large chunk of wood missing in the very center of the target – proof that she'd been practicing her throws, trying to move from almost-perfect to truly perfect. An admirable goal, to be sure, but she was doing it for unhealthy reasons.

"Hey," Hanabi said softly, making Asa jump and turn around. "Nice to see you. It's been nearly a whole year since I last spoke to you, what with me being on missions all the time. But what are you doing, practicing so late at night? You should be sleeping and getting ready for school tomorrow."

"I-I'm sorry, Aunt Hanabi. Did I disturb you?" Asa bowed hastily. "I will leave immediately."

"No, no, hold on." Hanabi almost laughed at how much the girl reminded her of a young Hinata. "No need for that, I want to talk. And none of this stupid formality business."

Asa stopped trying to run off and faced her aunt, but there was a gleam in her eyes and a displeased turn to her mouth. "Proper behavior is what separates the trash from the gems. As a Hyuga, I must act as befits my station – and so should you, Aunt Hanabi."

_I'd forgotten how spunky she is, compared to Hinata. Maybe her father wasn't as much of a cold politician as I thought he was – or maybe she's less timid when she's with people she trusts. I know I've always tried to be supportive of her; maybe this is her way of reciprocating that. Hinata might have been the same way, if she hadn't been in constant fear of everyone being disappointed in her._ "Perhaps so. In any case, I'm glad we met here. I'd like to talk to you."

Nodding, Asa's show of spine melted away into her previous meekness. "Of course, Aunt Hanabi."

Hanabi sat down on a bench, and mentioned for Asa to do the same. "Did you know that Hinata acted just like you do when she was your age?"

Asa blinked. "That is... impossible."

"Hah! You'd think that now, of course, but she wasn't nearly as nasty as a kid." This made Asa give her another dissatisfied expression, but Hanabi ignored it. "Before Neji died, it was looking like I was going to be the clan head after father died. It was that incident which changed her so much – awakened her inner bitch, as I like to say."

Asa blinked, frowning at the slight to her mother, but decided to focus on the more important question. "What is this 'incident' that people keep referring to? No one has ever really spoken about it to me."

"Is that so? We'll, I'm the most qualified person to tell you what happened, so I will. I don't care if your mother gets mad at me for it; you deserve to know why Hinata expects so much of you."

"Ah, well, uh, if mother doesn't think-"

"Stuff it," Hanabi said, irritated. "Your mother is not the end-all authority in your life – you are. Why don't you make a decision for yourself, this time, about whether you should hear this story or not?"

Asa was silent, pondering the idea, and then slowly nodded. "I... would like to hear why my mother is the way she is."

"Good." Hanabi nodded, satisfied, and then turned away. "Give me a moment. This isn't a nice story."

"Of course, Aunt Hanabi. Take all the time you wish."

Sighing, Hanabi closed her eyes, took a slow, deep breath, and the let it out again. "Alright. This happened when I was fourteen, and taking the chunnin exams for the first time. This was after the alliance with Sound, so the chunnin exams at that time were a small affair – we were at war, and only the three villages in our alliance were willing to participate in them. Our enemy, Kumo, Kiri, and Ame, had their own chunnin exams, and we'd declared a short cease-fire in order for both sides to have the exams unmolested.

"To make a long story short, I made it into the finals, but lost. It was a Sound genjutsu user who defeated me – I had assumed my Byakugan would make any genjutsu useless, and was unprepared to deal with a quality sound-based genjutsu. He used a series of hidden wind instruments to subtly weaken my grip on reality, and then hit me hard with a more solid genjutsu, forcing me to give up. When I got home, I was not only furious at myself for losing, but I was still really unstable from the first genjutsu he used on me.

"Neji was there, in the Hyuga home, alone. You have to understand," Hanabi said sadly, sighing, "that Neji was, at that time, a huge deal among the Hyugas. Back then, the branch family had the Caged Bird Seal placed on them, and anyone in the main family had the ability to use that seal to punish the branch family. Nowadays everyone's had the Linked Cage Seal placed on them instead, thanks to Hinata, but back then the main family could punish the branch family whenever they wanted.

"A few days before the exam, I'd gotten into a fight with Neji. He was branch family, you see, and I was really sore about him being so much better than any of the main family. He and Hinata were close by that point, and when I said that the only reason that he was considered the strongest Hyuga was because Hinata had been born in my place, he got really pissed – gave me a real tongue-lashing about how Hinata was not useless, and that she was almost as strong as he was – that he was going to lead her to become the strongest Hyuga and a wonderful clan head."

"I thought," Asa said slowly as Hanabi paused, "that you were going to become the clan head."

"The decision was in the works – the council was hesitant to just give up on the first born. It would have happened eventually, though, no matter what Neji believed. Anyway, Neji had just given me the most humiliating lecture I'd ever heard, and there he was, looking at me like he was right, he'd always known he was right, and he'd always be right in the future. In my unstable state, I couldn't take it, couldn't bear having a branch member look at me like that – so I activated the Caged Bird Seal. I activated it, and kept it on, and on, and on – and when Hinata walked in, having followed me home to console me for my loss, she found me holding the seal, looking blindly at the wall, with Neji dead at my feet."

Asa gasped, and then clasped a hand to her mouth. Horrified, but driven by a morbid curiosity, she spoke through her fingers. "What happened next?"

"She snapped. Totally, completely snapped. Screaming like a beserker, she charged me and started swinging. I tried to defend myself, but I was no match for her like that – she not only used Jyuken and all of the advanced techniques that Neji had taught her, she mixed in standard taijutsu she'd learned at the academy, beast-form taijutsu she'd learned from Kiba, some of the weird, bastardized stuff that Naruto uses, and a bunch of ninjutsus and genjutsus. By the time it was over, a fair portion of the Hyuga house was gone, and I was almost dead."

"Almost dead! How!? What she'd do to you!?" Asa was on the edge of her seat.

Hanabi gave her niece a nervous smile. "Uh, well, she used a lot of jyuken on me, so my internal organs were a little mushy by then. And I was bruised all over, broken bones in a lot of tough-to-heal places, with large gashes from the beast-style taijustu. I was also burned, from the lightning techniques she'd used on me, and the water techniques she used had made me lose a lot of blood out of my already pretty nasty wounds. That was the big thing there – blood loss. Being stuck in a whirlpool tends to suck the blood out of your open wounds, and she actually used a water kinjutsu – please don't ask me where she learned it, I don't know – to draw the blood right out of me. Finally, my mind was in shambles – I can't really remember what I was thinking, but I have vague memories of some nightmarish landscape that could only have been born inside Hinata's mind. I've never felt such a paralyzing loneliness before or since."

"A kinjutsu! Oh, wow- I mean, that's terrible!" Asa seemed to be soaking the story up – her eyes were glowing with excitement. "A kinjutsu that sucks out your blood! That sounds like a fantastic technique!"

Hanabi stared at her niece, worry – and a little bit of fear – hidden just beneath the surface. _She's... pretty bloodthirsty. Maybe I shouldn't be so pleased about her showing more spine at a younger age. It wouldn't be the first time that a Hyuga turned out a little screwy in the head, but I didn't think _Hinata's_ daughter would end up like that! _"I'm sure it is, but that's the end of the story. After that, Hinata proved herself capable of being just as stony as our father, and no one doubted she would be the successor. I was in rehab for months, and she never came to see me – not once. For Hinata, that was something unthinkable – she came to see _everybody _she knew who got hurt, nearly daily. But yeah, that's why she forced the Linked Cage Seal through the Hyuga elders, and is so hard on you – she wants you to be strong, unlike she was. She doesn't want you to have to go through a tragedy like that to find your true strength."

Asa's excitement drained away, and she lowered her head as her connection to it became clear. "Yo-you're right. I need to become strong, just like mother."

"I wouldn't worry about that," Hanabi said, placing a hand on Asa's head and rubbing affectionately – something which Asa, despite returning to her timid, polite self, looked quite annoyed at. "You're plenty strong right now – You'll make a fine genin, and you'll be a jounin in no time. I bet you'll make it into ANBU."

"ANBU!?" Asa's eyes began shining again, and she got to her feet – a thinly disguised attempt to get Hanabi's hand off her head. "But even mother never made it into ANBU!"

"That's more because she didn't have the time. She'd qualify for ANBU, easy." Hanabi chuckled, getting up and replacing her hand on Asa's head for a brief rub. "You can aim even higher, though. I was in ANBU for a bit, but just like the famous Rookie Nine, I can do certain things with more ease than an entire team of ANBU can, so I began working on my own."

"Really!? You're stronger than an ANBU team!?" Asa held her hands clasped in front of her, and she almost seemed to be on her tiptoes, she was so eager.

"Ah, well, no, I'm not," Hanabi said, feeling like a cad. "I'm just better at assassination than an ANBU team, so they send me out for that sort of stuff. But hey, there's plenty of people in the village who are _way_ stronger than an ANBU team! Like your mother, or Naruto, her old crush, or Sasuke, or Lee, or... half a dozen other people. It's kind of intimidating, actually," she finished, growling at the unfairness of it all. You never could get out of the shadow of strong people, it seemed...

Asa bounced gleefully for a second longer, and then paused. "Wait. My mother used to have a crush on Naruto?"

Hanabi nearly had a heart attack. _Oh, shit! Me and my big mouth!_ "Ah, no, well, sorta, I mean... it's complicated. Why don't you ask her about it?"

Asa looked at Hanabi like you would Lee if he asked you if you wanted to do some serious sparring. "Are you crazy? I can't talk to her normally, and you expect me to just pull up the subject of her old crush?"

"Yeah," Hanabi said, sighing, "I guess that makes sense. Alright, look – it's pretty simple. Naruto was a loud-mouthed brat who did whatever it took to get attention. Hinata was a timid girl who desperately wished she could gather the willpower to say what she wanted. To her, Naruto was exactly who she wished she could be – so she fell in love with him. Stalked him a little, gave him him gifts without his knowledge, all those things that timid Hyuga girls are famous for."

"Hyuga girls are... famous for stalking?" Asa gave Hanabi a curious look – a little _too_ curious, in Hanabi's opinion.

"Of course! With the Byakugan, it'd be weird if that wasn't the first option a timid girl afraid of actually talking to their crush takes." Hanabi gave Asa an amused grin. "What, you thought you were unusual?"

"W-what!? I, I don't _stalk_ anyone!" Asa turned away, her cheeks heating.

"_Sure _you don't," Hanabi said teasingly. "Is it a classmate?"

After a moment of hesitation, Asa nodded briefly, her cheeks getting even redder.

"Hah! Hyugas never change! You know, my mother did the same to my father. In fact, clan heads have seemed to thrive on that sort of thing – the males like being stalked, and the females like to do the stalking. It's almost a tradition."

Asa turned around, just a little bit. "A... a tradition?"

Hanabi nodded. _I know this is wrong, but I just can't stop! _"Right, a tradition. I bet your mother would be disappointed if you didn't show interest in _someone!_"

This seemed to speak to the core of Asa's being, and she turned around to face her aunt bravely. "Then I will continue this tradition. There is no way around it."

"Absolutely. No way around it." _Hinata is going to kill me for real if she ever finds out about this conversation. _

Asa nodded, and then began walking back to the house. "Good night, Aunt Hanabi. I am very glad I was able to talk to you."

"Me too," Hanabi said jovially. "You get some sleep, alright? Training for a few more hours doesn't offset being sleep deprived."

Asa bowed politely, and then headed back to her room. She was exhausted from her long training – she'd been going at it since her mother had commanded her to, nearly six hours ago – and had no intention of doing anything but resting. She took a brief shower, and then climbed into bed, almost immediately falling asleep. Soon a pleased expression came to her face as a dream filled her sleeping head.

"Oh, Miara-chan," she murmured, giggling to herself. "Don't worry. I'm sure you'll fill out when you get older, but I like you like this anyway. You're so cute when you look unsure of yourself..."

* * *

Sakura groaned as she staggered up the path to her house. It wasn't because she was inebriated; no, for once she wished she _was_ hungover. At least that would go away in the morning, unlike Naruto's incompetence when it came to making love. She always felt unsatisfied afterwards, not to mention _sore. _Having an eternally young lover wasn't always a plus.

Grumbling to herself, she clumsily unlocked the door and walked inside, dropping her bag on the floor. At this time of night, Miara would be asleep, and Sasuke probably would be too. She sighed. _Blasted men. I don't even know why I bother with this stuff anymore. I'm not a teenager with an overactive sex drive; what exactly do I get out of this anymore?_

"Sakura?"

Sakura turned towards the kitchen in surprise. "Sasuke? Why aren't you asleep? It's almost two in the morning."

"Ah, I decided to do something for you." Sasuke's voice echoed out of the kitchen, and Sakura wondered why he wasn't coming out to greet her if he was awake. "But first, I suppose your date with Naruto went about as well as usual?"

"Well, yes, I suppose. I kinda wished we could skipped the last part, though." Sakura grimaced, wishing she could have retracted her statement. Mention the sexual part of her relationship with one lover in front of the other usually made them sullen for a while.

"Ah, that's good."

"Good?" Sakura frowned, a little angry and a quite confused. "How are the bad things in my life good? You haven't dropped to the selfish level of jealousy where you hope Naruto fails, even at the expense of my own happiness, have you?"

"Oh, no," Sasuke said, sounding exceedingly self-confident. "No, no. You see, I was expecting this to happen, so I baked you a cake."

"A cake?" _Since when is Sasuke a baker? _"Uh, thanks, but I'm a little tired, and sugar right before bed is probably a bad idea."

"Sakura, please." Sasuke's voice became louder as he began to walk out of the kitchen. "I worked so hard to bake you this cake; the least you could do is try it."

"Sasuke, I'm sorry, but I'm not really in the... mood..." Sakura trailed off as Sasuke walked out the kitchen. Somehow, he'd baked a cake around his chest and groin, complete with white icing and lettering made out of pink confectionery (which read, 'There's a special present inside me'). Aside from that, he was completely naked.

"So," Sasuke said while smirking, a twinkle in his eye. "How do you like the cake?" His smile grew wider as he watched Sakura gape. "Naruto may have an eternally young body, but I can _learn._"

Sakura stared.

_Oh, right. _This_ is why I still have a sex life._

* * *

"Dad."

Naruto froze mid-step on his way up the stairs. Turning around nervously, he saw Sano standing behind him, arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. Worse, he wasn't he clad in his pajamas, which meant he'd been waiting for Naruto to come back – and that he had more than a reprimand in mind. "Uh, yes, son?"

"We need to talk."

_Damnit. No male should have mastered that statement like he has. What have I created?_ "Sure, Sano, we can talk tomorrow in the morning. Dad's still a little... tired... from his date."

"You mean your 'be as vigorous as possible' strategy failed... again."

Naruto frowned. "I'm not about to start taking sex advice from a virgin, much less my thirteen year old son."

Sano blushed, and turned away. "Okay, fine. But we still need to talk."

Sighing, Naruto sat down on the steps. "Alright. What are we discussing?"

Surprisingly, Sano looked hesitant. "Can... can we discuss this at the dinner table? I'd feel more comfortable there."

Blinking, Naruto nodded, and followed his son to the small round table at which the two performed their daily Ramen worship. _Oh, I'm so glad that I was able to teach the wonders of Ramen to my son. I'm not sure I could have stood it if my own son didn't share at least that aspect of my life._ "So, what's gotten you so worried?"

Sano hesitated for a second longer before folding his hands I front of him. "Dad, I want to ask something really personal. Is that okay?"

"Something personal? Sure, shoot. If I don't want to answer, I just won't. Simple enough."

"Alright." Sano took a deep breathe and focused all his awareness on his father. "Dad, I heard that, when you were a kid, your dream was to become the Hokage. Is that true?"

Naruto placed a hand on his forehead. _Oh, shit. He wants to discuss _that_. _"Yeah, it's true. My dream was to become the Hokage."

"Why did you stop trying?" Sano continued, speaking out urgently the moment Naruto had stopped talking.

"Why? Oh, geez, that's complicated, Sano." Naruto sighed and leaned back in his chair, staring at the ceiling. "Alright. You know that I was treated as a, a... a _pariah _(yeah, that's the word) when I was a kid. Well, I figured that the best way to get everyone to respect me was to become the Hokage, and I suppose I was right. It was more a matter of the process of becoming Hokage which would have made me respected, but the difference is pretty small. After all, you do the same thing and end up in the same place."

"Alright, I get that," Sano said, secretly wondering would it be like to live in such a simplified world. "So what convinced you to stop aiming for that?"

"In trying to protect Konoha, I realized that there were people better suited to being Hokage than me. It stung, but in this case the process overshadowed the goal, and I tried to get Sakura instituted as the Hokage. See, somewhere along the line my desire to get respect had become a desire to keep the respect I had already earned, and to do that I didn't want to lose anybody – and Sakura as Hokage would accomplish that much better than I would as Hokage. I mean, I'm stronger than Sakura – considerably stronger – but Hokages have to make the right decisions, and while my gut choices are pretty damn good, Sakura makes better ones using her head."

Sano was silent for a minute, and Naruto sat there, letting him collect his thoughts. After all, the boy hadn't brought it up just to hear the story. Finally, Sano once again stared his father in the face. "So you abandoned your dream."

_Fuck. _"Yes, I did. But that was because I had developed another dream – that of protecting my loves ones – that was more important."

"But..." Sano seemed to be struggling with the idea. "You _abandoned_ your _dream._ I always thought that those who gave up on their dreams became smaller – became _less_. I... I don't know what to do, father. I thought my dream was to become great ninja, but the more I learn, the less important it seems. I mean, sure, I can protect Konoha from the attacks of other nations, but that doesn't feel like it'll _change_ anything! That's just maintaining the status quo!"

Naruto stared for a second, and then smirked. "Oh, wow. That's pretty deep, Sano, much deeper than anything I would ever think up. You shouldn't be asking me about this – you should be asking Sakura, or even Sasuke. They're much smarter than me." Suddenly his grin vanished. "On second thought, don't ask Sasuke. He's... not exactly a great role model when it comes to this sort of thing."

"I know that, dad!" Sano was frustrated, clenching his hands together tightly. "I didn't come to ask you about whether or not I was right. I wanted to know what you thought about dreams – about keeping them, and breaking them."

"I see." Naruto looked at his son thoughtfully, and then smiled cheerily. "Well, the best advice I can give you is to not be afraid of giving up your dreams if you seriously think that they're not right anymore – but unless you have really, _really_ convincing evidence of that, you hold on to that dream _damn_ tight. The people who seem to become less after they give up on a dream are the ones that can't hold on to another one. No matter what dream it is, no matter how many you've had to give up on before you got the right one, as long as you hold on to it tight and do everything in your power to make that dream a reality, than you'll end up alright."

Staring at Naruto for a moment, Sano looked thoughtful. Then he nodded. "I see. Alright. Thanks, dad; that's cleared things up for me."

"Anytime, son." Naruto looked back at Sano, satisfied that he'd managed to help him, and then put back on his grin. "Now, how about we go back to bed? I'm still really... tired... from my date."

"You know, I have some books-"

"We all do, son. We all do."

"No! I didn't mean _that!_ I don't have books like that!"

"Please. You think I can't crack a six digit passcode? There are ninjutsus for that sort of thing."

"What!? That's not fair! Ninjas shouldn't have _shortcuts _to avoid using their brains!"

"Just because you're smart doesn't mean every ninja has to be. Also, I've been meaning to speak to you about this, but your mother-complex stuff needs to stop."

"I, I do _not_ have a mother-complex!!!"

"Son, I have all the same issues and more, and the _one _reason I have them is that Lady Violet looks _just _like Sakura. You can't fool me."

"..."

"It's okay. It's perfectly normal. But you're thirteen, now; you need to grow out of it."

"...I've seen you staring in the mirror as a naked girl, using that shapechange jutsu you figured out from the transformations the Kyuubi caused you to got through. I saw your expression, and I _know_ what you were thinking."

"..."

"..."

"We never speak of this again."

"Teach me that technique."

"Why would I-"

"I'll loan you my sex technique books. I'll even bookmark the good bits so you don't get bored."

"Deal. Wait... how many times have you read those books, if you know where the good parts are?"

"That's..."

"Nevermind, I suppose it's perfectly normal for someone of your age and intelligence to be worried about under-performance. Well, normal as far as ninjas go. Good night, Sano."

"Good night, dad. Don't forget your promise."

"I won't. I'll even write up a scroll for you."

"Thanks, dad. Thanks for everything."

"For my son? No problem. Just... make sure you really get all the good bits."


End file.
